Thursday, March 17, 2011

Befuddlementization

So, I'm befuddled by something (don't worry, befuddling doesn't hurt). 


The source of my befuddlement?  Celebrities post divorce.  


Recently I've read that Ashlee Simpson has begun dating again, even though she and her husband announced their separation three seconds ago.  She has one child.  


Charlie Sheen is currently divorcing his third wife and he has a total of 5 children, including two year old twinsies.  I guess he was still lonely, because he recently moved a matching set of Goddesses into his home.  


Goddessi
                                           


Although, I guess the Goddesses look about thirteen, so maybe I should count them as children numbers 6 and 7?


People, I can't find time to do the things I hate like laundry and grocery shopping.  How are these people finding time for all this good loving?  


Also, how do they have the energy for it? If I had three seconds of peace right now I would probably just take a nap on the carpet because walking to my bed would waste so much precious time.  


I was thinking about how it would look if a real person went out on a date under such circumstances.


I'd show up, 35 minutes late due to my baby spitting up in my hair and needing to shower a second time.  I'd be wearing clothes with sweet potatoes on them and I'd probably be holding my Kindle, hoping for a second to finally read while my date was talking to me.  When I stood up to go to the bathroom, which I would be going to do simply because I was excited to be able to go without a small child watching me, my date would find a scratch and sniff Strawberry Shortcake sticker stuck to my ass.  


I'm going to guess that Ashlee and Charlie's nannies have some stickers stuck on their asses.  

8 comments:

kmcaffee said...

So! Funny! I'm glad I'm not the only one with a sticker(s) on my ass!

Jessica at Me Sew Crazy said...

LOL - one - they have people who do the things they hate for them (*sigh - jealous), and two - at least your stickers are on your a$$, my kids like to plant them all over my face! On a good note - Strawberry Shortcake stickers are usually scratch and sniff, so at least your butt smells nice :)

Christy said...

Um....Maxwell likes to put smiley face stickers on my boobs....sometimes without me noticing.

I, too, have wondering what it would be like to date....sounds exhausting to me.

Amanda M. said...

Puhleeze. Dating? I wonder if my potential date would be interested in all the latest Kindergarten gossip like who is having their 6th birthday where and who has lice? And perhaps who is going to be operating the cotton candy machine at this year's school carnival?

Ms.Wasteland said...

You're too funny!

If I had a nanny, cook, personal trainer, housekeeper, and no real job I might have time to get frisky, too.

myinnerchick.com said...

You really Crack me up :)

Suniverse said...

Great post! I'd think the scratch & sniff sticker would add excitement to the date.

katie said...

Just stickers on your ass? It could be worse...it could be....GLITTER. (yes my sister's kids did this to me. :) )

I think one of the many reasons celebs have time for this sort of thing (among many other things) is because they have nannies (like you said) but also stylists, personal trainers, etc. I suspect their publicists (sometimes) set couples up as well. Or it's not "dating" so much as "one night stand" :)