The source of my befuddlement? Celebrities post divorce.
Recently I've read that Ashlee Simpson has begun dating again, even though she and her husband announced their separation three seconds ago. She has one child.
Charlie Sheen is currently divorcing his third wife and he has a total of 5 children, including two year old twinsies. I guess he was still lonely, because he recently moved a matching set of Goddesses into his home.
Although, I guess the Goddesses look about thirteen, so maybe I should count them as children numbers 6 and 7?
People, I can't find time to do the things I hate like laundry and grocery shopping. How are these people finding time for all this good loving?
Also, how do they have the energy for it? If I had three seconds of peace right now I would probably just take a nap on the carpet because walking to my bed would waste so much precious time.
I was thinking about how it would look if a real person went out on a date under such circumstances.
I'd show up, 35 minutes late due to my baby spitting up in my hair and needing to shower a second time. I'd be wearing clothes with sweet potatoes on them and I'd probably be holding my Kindle, hoping for a second to finally read while my date was talking to me. When I stood up to go to the bathroom, which I would be going to do simply because I was excited to be able to go without a small child watching me, my date would find a scratch and sniff Strawberry Shortcake sticker stuck to my ass.
I'm going to guess that Ashlee and Charlie's nannies have some stickers stuck on their asses.