It's here my friends! *applause*
All the Facebook crap I would love to have said, but I have to parent and also blog in the middle of the night and both things have left me unable to form words during the week for Facebook Statusi.
1.) I hope he shoots his eye out.
2.) OK, so I don't feel particularly bad for this guy, who was suspended from Brigham Young because he knew exactly what he was signing up for by going to BYU. However, can you imagine how much his teammates are crapping their pants right now? I'm guessing every time pre-marital sex is mentioned around them no one is making eye contact.
3.) You know what would be awesome? If you went into an interview challenging yourself to use all Charlie Sheen quotes:
Why do you think you'd be an asset to us?
I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't just perfect and just winning every second, and that I'm not just perfect and bitching and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn.
Why are you leaving your current position?
I'm dealing with fools and trolls.
Can you elaborate on that?
I'm dealing with soft targets at my current job, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee.
Um, thanks. We'll be in touch.
4.) This week I got a hair cut, and the hairstylist straightened my hair before I left. My 5 year old said to me, "Mom, I'm glad you got your hair fixed. It didn't look nice the other way, but now it will look straight and pretty like fashion girls". Fashion girls is what she says when referring to anyone pretty. I believe that if I was 16 I would end this story in a great big 'FML'. In other news, I'm thinking of perming my daughter's hair just to screw with her.
5.) In honor of Dr. Seuss's birthday, I want to direct you to this post by Backpacking Dad. It is called A Tale of Addiction and Corruption, By Dr. Seuss. It is high-larious! Although I think it would be more fun to read if I'd eaten some funny brownies.
Happy Friday, my beloved nerdlings!