Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I Hope My Keys Catch The Pink Eye
I've seen hell.
This is what it looks like: Being stuck in the house for an entire day with your two small daughters because one had pink eye and could not go to school, only to wake up the next day to find your keys are missing, rendering you unable to meet your friends at the McDonald's Playland where you were hoping you could regain your sanity.
And can I just point out how sad it is that I was looking forward to going to a McD's Playland at all? To have something that lame taken away, when it was my only dream for the day, is seriously tragic. I mean, I put on jeans and everything for this event. I showered!
On that note, do you know what is super fun? Giving your child eye drops three times a day for seven days. It's clear that the genius who came up with this plan had not experienced the dramatics of a 5 year old little girl. I'm running out of both bribes and the will to live. It's got me wondering what would be the worst case scenario if pink eye went untreated. I mean, Helen Keller lived a very full life and she was also deaf and mute. So really, this would be a step up.
Of course I'm kidding, I had pink eye once and it is very uncomfortable. You know how people usually get pink eye from other people in settings like classrooms or work? Well, that's not how I roll. I attended camp once as a kid and one of the better parts of the experience were the horse back riding lessons. And because I always choose the underdog, I chose this little pony named P.J. (Pride and Joy) because no one else wanted him and he was so cute and ugly at the same time. Like Johnny Depp, he looked like he needed a good scrub.
P.J. and I had some great lessons and times together. One morning I woke up and my eyes were crusted shut. I know, yum. Turns out, that little bastard P.J. had pink eye and gave it to me.
I know you don't believe me, so I will provide you with this link. Can you get pink eye from an animal?
Once when I told this story to co-workers I had to call my dad, who is a doctor, and put him on speaker phone to prove I wasn't full of crap. Well, for that anyway. Although, I'm not sure they ever bought it because my dad is an OB/GYN.
One time my husband tried to convince his co-workers that our kitten had given him a cold. I think they still give him crap about it. Now that I put these two stories together, I have to wonder what's wrong with us.
There's no point to this post. Sorry. Just pray that tomorrow I can leave my house.
Posted by Amanda at 2:15 PM