Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I Hope My Keys Catch The Pink Eye



I've seen hell.


This is what it looks like:  Being stuck in the house for an entire day with your two small daughters because one had pink eye and could not go to school, only to wake up the next day to find your keys are missing, rendering you unable to meet your friends at the McDonald's Playland where you were hoping you could regain your sanity.  


And can I just point out how sad it is that I was looking forward to going to a McD's Playland at all?  To have something that lame taken away, when it was my only dream for the day, is seriously tragic.  I mean, I put on jeans and everything for this event.  I showered!


On that note, do you know what is super fun?  Giving your child eye drops three times a day for seven days.  It's clear that the genius who came up with this plan had not experienced the dramatics of a 5 year old little girl.  I'm running out of both bribes and the will to live.  It's got me wondering what would be the worst case scenario if pink eye went untreated.  I mean, Helen Keller lived a very full life and she was also deaf and mute.  So really, this would be a step up.  


Of course I'm kidding, I had pink eye once and it is very uncomfortable.  You know how people usually get pink eye from other people in settings like classrooms or work?  Well, that's not how I roll.   I attended camp once as a kid and one of the better parts of the experience were the horse back riding lessons.  And because I always choose the underdog, I chose this little pony named P.J. (Pride and Joy) because no one else wanted him and he was so cute and ugly at the same time.  Like Johnny Depp, he looked like he needed a good scrub.  


P.J. and I had some great lessons and times together.  One morning I woke up and my eyes were crusted shut.  I know, yum.  Turns out, that little bastard P.J. had pink eye and gave it to me. 


I know you don't believe me, so I will provide you with this link.  Can you get pink eye from an animal?


Once when I told this story to co-workers I had to call my dad, who is a doctor, and put him on speaker phone to prove I wasn't full of crap.  Well, for that anyway.  Although, I'm not sure they ever bought it because my dad is an OB/GYN.  


One time my husband tried to convince his co-workers that our kitten had given him a cold.  I think they still give him crap about it.  Now that I put these two stories together, I have to wonder what's wrong with us.


There's no point to this post.  Sorry.  Just pray that tomorrow I can leave my house.



19 comments:

Stacey said...

You are TOO FUNNY!! Love it! Fingers crossed that you find your keys and are able to get out tomorrow!
http://supermamawannabe.blogspot.com

Cassie said...

I love posts with no points. Thanks for the laugh!

http://www.jasonandcassieclarkson.blogspot.com

Julie @ blog-buffet said...

Oh, I've had those days when something as mundane as McDonald's is your only salvation. I'm sorry that was taken away from you. It's very frustrating to have showered and put on jeans for nothing. I mean that sincerely. I hope the eye gets better soon and the drops go in easy. It makes me think of the Friends episode when Monica had to put drops in Rachel's eyes, so funny!

Anonymous said...

Amanda, this made me laugh out loud and I can relate. When I'm home with the boys and I shower in the morning (or anytime before naps) it's a REALLY big deal! Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

Ok, also that was Maura :)

Shabbygal said...

It's been a long while since I've experienced those days! Desperate to go anywhere as long as it enertained the kids and I got a moment of sanity! I assure you may not seem like it now but you will miss these days! they grow up so fast! Hugs,Traci

Ann Imig said...

Best of luck with McPinkEye tomorrow!

Shell said...

Looking forward to going to McD's? Oh, girl! I hope everyone is doing better soon.

Amanda said...

Thanks, guys. Glad someone understands.

Julie- it's totally like that Friends episode! I am so tempted to pull a Monica and tell her I'm just going to pretend to do it, and just get her by surprise attack.

Maura, it's nice to hear from you :) It's funny how quickly time can go by before you think....man it's 1pm. I should really shower. It's so glamorous.

Amanda said...

I am back to report that my keys were in my husband's work bag.

I decided to let him live.

Jake & Lesly said...

That's the Amanda I love....reading this blog was a great way to start my day! I wish I could come hang at playland with you gals. Alas, here I am at work after battling with my 3 yr old to leave the house.....he HAD to have a toy and absolutely REFUSED to let anyone but me help him with anything. He made my daughter late for school. Darn him!!! UGH!!!!! And people wonder why I'm late all the time. No pink eye here.....just a 3 year old stubborn little guy. OK....that was random....sorry. Have a great day though! ;0) Glad G.R. gets to live and you know where your keys are...and you got to shower. Maybe you can put on comfy pants now since you aren't going anywhere though, ha ha! That's what I'd do.

Roxi said...

Unfortunately, I can relate. Kelsey had pink eye two weeks ago and was such a good girl about sharing that she gave it to her sister. Now we're on the second round of drops with Lily...and oh yeah, I have it too. It's great going to work without eye makeup on - I'm sure I look like a walking Zombie. And I'm the biggest baby in the house - I've been making Aaron give me the drops because I can't do it myself! Yes, I'm a wimp.

kris said...

My girls got pink-eye a few times when they were younger, and I remember the first time my older daughter got it. The doctor gave me a prescription for eye drops, and I had to hold my daughter down in order to administer the drops. She would kick and scream and thrash about.

So I called the pharmacy.

Did you know you can get that same medicine in an ointment that you just smear across your child's lower lid?

No more screaming.

Eye drops are evil.

Make a note.

Stacey said...

Newest follower :) Found your blog on Bloggy Moms!

http://madeofsnails.blogspot.com/
http://staceylovesscents.blogspot.com/

NorthJerseyMom said...

Hey~ I'm now a follower as I, too, am fond of the silliness. I enjoy the silliness very much. Follow me at http://www.northjerseymom.blogspot.com.

Allie said...

You are hilarious - love it!

Allie
http://24inmymind.blogspot.com

Meg said...

I totally get the desire even if it is McDonald's playland just to have some type of adult conersation.

It is the worst to try and put drops in a 5 year old. My daughter is possessed when we have to that I think only and exorcism will help us get through it!

So loving your blog and love the picture at the top, did you draw that?

I am now following and still LMAO!

Megan
love for you to stop on by!

Jessi said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that only gets dressed for special occasions like play dates. I change from pajamas to nicer pajamas. LOL

Such is the stay at home life. :)

Found you through funny bloggy moms.

Kayla said...

Nobody told us about THIS side of parenting, did they? How you have to sneak up on your kids, lock their little bodies between you legs - have hubby hopefully help you hold their head down whilst prying their eye lids open and putting a drop...hopefully somewhere near enough to their eyeball that it will slide in and not just be cried away! Ahh the memories we are making with our little ones!

I am with you on the shock of being excited to get out to go to McDonalds! That is how I would know that I really needed to get out more. I hate Playlands. All the screaming and it sort of echoes in there. And there is always at least one parent (usually of the most obnoxious kids) that is just sitting quietly reading or working on a laptop! Hope you are all better and you get out for something waaaay better than McDonalds!
www.shutthefridge.blogspot.com