The Best Jazz Hands Picture Ever Is In This Blog

Do you think it's a problem that at least twice a day I wish there was a middle finger emoticon on my phone?  


Never for any true anger issue I'm having.  It's primarily to use with my sister.  


There should be sister emoticons! 


We wouldn't need many.  We could basically get by with the following emoticons:

• Glasses of wine
• The word husband crossed out
• The word husband with hearts around it
• The middle finger
• Children with hearts around them
• Children crossed out
• A scale crossed out  

Side note:  Dad- don't send me an email about how giving the middle finger to my sister is inappropriate.  Also, she uses swear words, you should talk to her about that. 

Second side note:  Now that I made that a small font my dad won't be able to read it anyway.


My sister is the one in this post. Yes, she is The Camel Toe Screamer.  

For the first time since I moved, my sister and I will see each other next week.   Our brother is getting married in North Carolina, and no nuptials are complete without two loudmouthed, sarcastic sisters.  I'm sure my future sister in law will be so pleased!

It's been hard being without my sister.  She lived literally down the street (not in that asshole way that other people use the word literally, I mean she truly lived down the street) from me for the last several years. 

Luckily, since moving we've discovered that we can drink coffee together via Skype.  It's not totally the same, but you know what your 1st grade teacher said to you.  You get what you get, and you don't get upset.

When we Skype, for some reason we always choose to do it at 10am so we can "watch" The View.  So basically we spend an hour talking to each other with the conversation broken up with the occasional following statements:

Seriously, Whoopie?  Those shoes and that tent don't go together.

Sheri, you're making money now honey.  It's time to put some money into your wigs.

Shut up, Elisabeth.  We know you have kids/are Republican/know Sarah Palin.

Jackie is the one who watched my first baby until the baby was nearly 3 years old while I worked, and she's the one who came over in the middle of the night when I went into labor with my second kid.  She's brought me Brie and wine more times than I can count.  She makes me laugh that deep belly laugh that so few people can.


She also has this horrid picture of me eating a strawberry that she'll likely whip out and post on the internet if I ever do her wrong.  


Not to worry though, friends.  I have ways of getting a picture of her wearing a red, white and blue dance outfit while doing jazz hands in her youth.  It's KILLER.

                                                               
Sweet mother of pearl!  This is not my sisters picture, but I've spent 10 minutes doing the laugh/cry over this beauty and I had to share!


On a sad note, I had those glasses around 4th grade.  Thanks, Mom!


Anyway, in just a few days we shall be reunited!  And it shall annoy everyone around us, because that's how we roll.  

Here we are in 3D glasses.  I look so much cooler than her.