Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Best Jazz Hands Picture Ever Is In This Blog

Do you think it's a problem that at least twice a day I wish there was a middle finger emoticon on my phone?  


Never for any true anger issue I'm having.  It's primarily to use with my sister.  


There should be sister emoticons! 


We wouldn't need many.  We could basically get by with the following emoticons:



  • Glasses of wine
  • The word husband crossed out
  • The word husband with hearts around it
  • The middle finger
  • Children with hearts around them
  • Children crossed out
  • A scale crossed out  



Side note:  Dad- don't send me an email about how giving the middle finger to my sister is inappropriate.  Also, she uses swear words, you should talk to her about that

Second side note:  Now that I made that a small font my dad won't be able to read it anyway.


My sister is the one in this post. Yes, she is The Camel Toe Screamer.  



For the first time since I moved, my sister and I will see each other next week.   Our brother is getting married in North Carolina, and no nuptials are complete without two loudmouthed, sarcastic sisters.  I'm sure my future sister in law will be so pleased!

It's been hard being without my sister.  She lived literally down the street (not in that asshole way that other people use the word literally, I mean she truly lived down the street) from me for the last several years. 

Luckily, since moving we've discovered that we can drink coffee together via Skype.  It's not totally the same, but you know what your 1st grade teacher said to you.  You get what you get, and you don't get upset.

When we Skype, for some reason we always choose to do it at 10am so we can "watch" The View.  So basically we spend an hour talking to each other with the conversation broken up with the occasional following statements:

Seriously, Whoopie?  Those shoes and that tent don't go together.

Sheri, you're making money now honey.  It's time to put some money into your wigs.

Shut up, Elisabeth.  We know you have kids/are Republican/know Sarah Palin.





Jackie is the one who watched my first baby until the baby was nearly 3 years old while I worked, and she's the one who came over in the middle of the night when I went into labor with my second kid.  She's brought me Brie and wine more times than I can count.  She makes me laugh that deep belly laugh that so few people can.


She also has this horrid picture of me eating a strawberry that she'll likely whip out and post on the internet if I ever do her wrong.  


Not to worry though, friends.  I have ways of getting a picture of her wearing a red, white and blue dance outfit while doing jazz hands in her youth.  It's KILLER.


                                                               
Sweet mother of pearl!  This is not my sisters picture, but I've spent 10 minutes doing the laugh/cry over this beauty and I had to share!


On a sad note, I had those glasses around 4th grade.  Thanks, Mom!


Anyway, in just a few days we shall be reunited!  And it shall annoy everyone around us, because that's how we roll.  


Here we are in 3D glasses.  I look so much cooler than her.











15 comments:

1 Funky Woman said...

This post made me laugh and get a little teary eyed. My sister is my best friend and lives in CA while I live in Iowa. We Ichat all the time and help rearrange furniture. We are crazy. You two sound like us. I loved the camel toe comment. That is awesome! My sister and I have a secret lanuage that makes my kids cringe because they then think when she is around there are two moms.

So excited for you and her to be together again. Can't wait to hear some doozy stories!

Megan

1 Funky Woman said...

So forgot to comment on the jazz hands. Too funny and I had those same glasses but I had an apple sticker in the right corner. And I totally agree with the phone, I needs symbols like that, that I can send to her!

Why don't you create them, lol!

Megan

Jessica at Me Sew Crazy said...

HOLY SMOKES!!! That had my cracking up! Love to start the week with that! The title alone made me click it open immediately!

Kimberly said...

I just spent the weekend with my sister...and your post made me giggle and tear up all at the same time! Miss her like crazy already.

And the jazz hands pic? Priceless. Well, unless you're the one in it. Then I'm sure you'd like to set a price to keep it offline.

jules said...

THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST EVER. When I saw the title I quickly looked through the whole post to make sure you didn't betray me and put that stupid jazz hands picture on here. Truthfully though, my anger was more aimed at G.R. b/c I felt like it would be his fault. I miss you so much and I can't wait to drink wine/annoy our husbands/and be snarky at G's wedding.

Le'Ann Ruggles said...

Sisters are awesome! And I would use a middle finger emoticon with mine pretty much every day. :)

Lesly said...

You crack me up! Just saw Jules this weekend....Hi Jules!! Love her! You gals are wonderful, love you both, and wish I could be there to laugh at your sarcasm. Have a great time ladies!

Suniverse said...

Yay!

Sometimes sisters are fun. Until you need the middle finger app.

Have a great time at the wedding.

myinnerchick.com said...

~~Soooooooooo beautiful.
I'd give EVERYTHING in the world to have my sister with my for one more hour.

xxxx Kiss From MN.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

my interest peaked at "not in that asshole way that other people use the word literally".

and you sealed the deal at "Those shoes and that tent don't go together."

Lesly said...

I keep looking at that picture and thinking "how did you find that picture of me?" because I totally had that phase......ugh!!!!!!I can't wait until that picture gets low enough in the the listing, so post some more blogs already. ;0)

Julie said...

Sweet mother of pearl? Oh I am so glad that is NOT your sister.

Not that we all haven't looked that bad at one point.

But really? Maybe not that bad.

And what the hell is between her legs?

(The jazz hand girl. not your sister.)

I love my sister CRAZY amounts. Have so much fun together.

With or without the glasses....

Diminishing Lucy said...

I am a new follower, and giggling - I have a strange relationshop with my sister....the middle finger would be useful...

Visiting via SITS.

I’d love it if you popped over and had a look at mine too, and perhaps followed?

Thanks!

Diminishing Lucy

Amanda M. said...

Love this post. I <3 my sister so much and we are so close and I cannot think of a better emoticon that would help my phone communication with her any more than a middle finger emoticon!
I hope you are having a fabulous time in NC. It is my fave state in this whole country. :-)

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Once again I am terribly, terribly, terribly sad I have no siblings.

It's a real tragedy.