Let's Get Silly

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

That Wendy Is A Real Wanker

So, here are some of the good times I've had recently.

Yesterday I took the girls to a bounce house and then to a park.  On the way to the park I had stopped to get a Frosty from Wendy's for Nora.  Because I'm just cool like that.  
I also bought a salad for me, and took both to the park to be consumed and also to enjoy fun and frivolity. 

 I had just settled Evie and begun eating my salad, when Nora sauntered up to me walking goofy and holding her crotch.  She had to go to the bathroom, of course.  There were no bathrooms, of course.  When we left the bounce house I had said, "Do you need to use the bathroom?", to which she replied "NO!", of course. 

 In front of the other couple at the park she said, "Mom, I don't want to leave!  Can we just pee outside behind a tree like you sometimes let me do?".  

From the look the couple gave me, I'm thinking no one around here let's their kid pee outside at a park, just so they don't have to leave.  Duly noted, we won't do that here.  

So we'd been there for ten minutes when I had to load up the car again.  

Ever since we became parents, I feel like we somehow morphed into packing mules.  We have two children, yet I am laden down with about 4 bags and whatever paraphernalia they refuse to carry after promising "I swear I'll carry it if you let me bring it, Mama!".  Yeah, right.  So I put Evie's seat in the car and move on to unloading the crap.   Then Nora announced she needed help buckling.  This makes sense since her hand is grabbing her crotch due to the pee issue.  While I'm doing this I hear, "Mom, Evie is eating a napkin."  

Sure enough she was happily making out with a yellow Wendy's napkin.  I do not know how she got it, it may have been in the back seat if I handed it to Nora with her frosty, she may have somehow grabbed it when I set it down to do something.  At any rate, she was eating it.

I left Nora and went and took the napkin away from Evie, noticing that there was a lot missing. She was mad as hell to be separated from her new BFF The Napkin, so she screamed like I'd tried to shove the napkin in her ear.  While screaming she started choking.  So I put my fingers in her mouth and fish hooked two globs of napkin out.  I checked her over for more napkin, decided she was all fixed up and started driving.  

Suddenly I hear choking.  

I pulled the car over and ran to Evie.  She was choking and not making noise.  My heart exploded and Nora kept screaming, "I want Dada!  Evie is choking!". 

 That makes sense, she would want the parent that didn't just feed the 7 month old baby a napkin. 

 I repeated the fish hook and found nothing.  I had no idea what to do because I knew I couldn't shove my fingers down her throat or I could make things worse.  I also freaked out because she has a cleft palate and no one mentioned if they choke where it goes.  That may sound weird, but I didn't know if it was going up into her nose and if it did, how I'd get it.  

I took her car seat out of the car, ready to run to the street to get someone to stop so they'd call 911 while I worked on Evie.  Suddenly a giant yellow napkin glob flew out of her mouth with one last choke on her behalf.  

I'm going to sum it up by saying, that sucked and I can't put into words how helpless I felt.  The rest of the day I just kept looking at her and thinking how different that scenario could have ended, and I woke up this morning still thankful and shaken.  I also emailed someone on the Children's cleft palate team to talk about choking.

So when we finally got home, everyone was shaken.  I took Evie out of her car seat and she was covered in baby crap.  In line with the theme here, that also made sense because she'd almost choked to death.  I would have shat my pants too.  Now Evie, me and my clothes were all covered in it.  

At least I still got to walk up 3 flights of stairs (did I mention our temporary apartment is 3 flights up and no elevator?  Whee!  God has a sense of humor and He's hilarious!) with the diaper bag, crappy pants Evie, and Nora lamenting about how I could let Evie eat napkins.  

We stayed home the rest of the day.  I'm thinking maybe we'll skip parks this year.  And Wendy's.  


clreaume said...

Oh Amanda, how scary! I am so glad Evie is okay. Who knew a paper napkin could cause so much trouble! Lilly choked on a piece of string cheese last year. Turned the strangest shade of blue/red I have ever seen. I did the fish hook thing and thankfully got it out. I immediately signed up for a refresher CPR class and learned that I totally did the wrong thing!! Thankfully it worked, but like you said, the chances of pushing it further in were much greater by doing that. So glad everyone is okay.

clreaume said...

I wrote a really wonderful (and somewhat long) comment and the darn thing disappeared. So here's the summary: Glad you guys are okay, stay away from string cheese, and take a CPR refresher course. :)

myinnerchick.com said...

Oh, that is so scary. I despise the feeling of helplessness. It sucks, man.
I only wish I could have saved my sister....Hug your baby. Give Thanks. love love love.xxx

Lesly V said...

Sorry to hear about that sucky experience....the thought that went through my mind was that you have a venue to vent here, and we all love and support you...so even though we can't physically hug you....you get a bunch of virtual hugs....and prayers. Hang in there. It's tough being far away, and in a new place. God does have a sense of humor, and he has a way of building our character and shaping us....and it sucks sometimes when we are going through it. I am learning about hiding under His wings....resting in Him. Keep the prayers going, and ask us for them. You'll get through, and get stronger. Be encouraged.

Amanda M. said...

Whoa. I think I just had a virtual heart attack reading that story. Something similar (though not quite as awful) happened when M was a baby and I was shaken up for like weeks. :( So glad sweet Evie is okay.

Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom said...

Oh! That was scary! I'm sorry you had to go through that, but of course glad to hear everything worked out okay. I'm a really worrier about the choking-thing. When my youngest was just about 10 months old, she put a quarter in her mouth (she found it on the floor) and I went to her really quick to fish it out of her mouth. My finger accidentally shoved it further down her throat, and her eyes bulged out and she got panicked. She kept opening her mouth, gagging, no noise coming from her. She was officially choking, getting no air, thanks to ME. I quickly turned her over and hit her hard a few times on the back. I then righted her and looked her in the face. She was still choking. I then faced her forward and did they Heimlich -- the quarter shot out of her mouth and landed all the way across the room. Then she started screaming. Then, my legs gave out, LOL. At the time I did what I needed to do, but afterwards...well, I needed to sit down! Scary stuff!

Kara said...

Here I was, feeling very pitiful because my kids are grown and it sometimes sucks to be an empty-nester, when I stumbled in here and read about your day. It reminded me that parenting young children is not all warm fuzzies like I sentimentally like to remember it. It's also bloody hard work, with gut-wrenching life-shaking moments and crap on your clothes. You've helped me realized that as much as I loved raising my kids, I'm definately relieved that those days are done.

So happy everyone's okay.

Ms.Wasteland said...

What a day! I'm so glad she's ok. I don't think I'd leave the house for a while either.

KLZ said...

That's so scary. I'm glad everything turned out alright.

Suniverse said...

Oh. My. God.

That is terrifying.

I would have lost my shit, completely.

I took a CPR class, and I still can't remember anything - I'll need a refresher, so I'm not just running around screaming like a crazy person.

So glad you're all fine.

And fuck Wendy - she is a wanker.

Ixy said...

Just this morning I had to do the fishhook to my 10-month old after she tried to eat part of a Reader's Digest. I have to take a CPR class - I'm afraid one of these days she's going to find some paper and start choking on it and I won't know what to do. So glad your little Evie is OK!

New follower :)