Monday, January 24, 2011

Today I Learned I Am Not Oprah's Half-Sister

I know that we are all reeling from Oprah's news today, but I'm going to go ahead and post anyway.  I think Oprah wants us all to move bravely forward.


So, internet, I decided that if we are really going to do this thing there is some must have information regarding yours truly that I shall share with you today.  It's really important stuff and I feel it's just best to put it out there now.


First, there are some terms we can't use here.  They include, but are not limited to the following:


  • Panties
  • Making Love  This disgusting term reminds me of a skeevy long haired poetry writing pony tail guy from the 70's
  • Moist  **shudder**


And here are the things of which we may never speak:


  • People walking on stilts
  • Clowns of any kind 
  • Claymation
  • Oompa Loompas  (Actually, anything Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
  • Cantaloupe
  • Ronald McDonald ~ He's enough of a freak show clown that he merits his own mention.
  • Sucking on the Popsicle stick after finishing a Popsicle.  The thought of this alone makes me feel like my flesh is peeling off my face.


Oddities I love to discuss:


  • Little People ~Whether they are baking cakes, making chocolate, or just living I love their shows.  Thank you TLC.  
  • The Polygamous lifestyle
  • Why Khloe Kardashian ever let her sister wax her bikini area in that one episode.  


If we stick to these simple guidelines, we will be internet BFF's.
So tell me, what are your quirks? 

13 comments:

Maggie said...
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Maggie said...

Fork Marks in the butter. God made things called "butter knives" for a reason. Use them! (Mostly directed at our wonderful brother in law)
I agree with some of yours. I am not a fan of clowns. For this reason, my kids will probably never go with me to the circus. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is freaky to me. Why was it cool for these parents to all send their kids to stay at this place with a strange man? And when the remake was out...I was more scared. Johnny Depp is one odd man.

Amanda said...

I know this is a unpopular opinion, but I have never liked Johnny Depp. I feel like he needs a good scrub in the shower.

The fork marks in the butter knife thing is fun to watch. He does love to torture you that way.

G.R. would probably also add utensils scraping across a plate.

Julie W. said...

I understand all of your loves and hates except the cantaloupe. I'm sorry, I know I wasn't supposed to speak of it, but it just struck me as odd.........
For me, it's knees. I don't mind looking at them. I mean, people in shorts don't freak me out. But I do not ever want my knees touched nor do I want to touch anyone elses. And for the love of all that is Holy if I see someone move their kneecap.......oh seriously, I feel nauseous just typing it. And now, imagine my joy that Jay Cutler hurt his knee and it's all that is on the news around here. My darling husband had knee surgery years ago, before we were a couple, and he for some sick reason still has the xrays and thinks it's funny to try to show those to me. Until I tell him I will simultaneously punch him in and vomit on his face.

clreaume said...

Clowns freak me out, as well as any kind of doll. Good thing Lilly really isn't much of a doll kind of kid. Other things that bother me are when someone is cooking and they take a taste test then put the utensil back into the food to stir or serve, something all of my husband's family is notorious for. Another one is flossing anywhere other than the bathroom right over the sink. My brother in law decideed to floss his teeth in the front seat of my car. Needless to say I had that inside sanitized the moment he was out of the car. Thankfully my husband is not cut from the same cloth as the rest of his family. I am pretty sure there is a iswitched at birth story in his past. One more just came to mind, people who invade your personal space and insit on chatting you up with mere millimeters between your nose and theirs. Just move back people!

Amanda said...

Julie- I forgot about your knee thing! I love a good nutty fear like a fear of knees. You know what's hilarious to me? That you wrote that it's weird to not want to talk about cantaloupe, and then followed it up with a very hilarious admission about being grossed out by knees.

Cheryl- I am with you on dolls too. Have you ever seen a photo of someone who has like a room full of dolls? Holy crap, I feel like screaming just thinking about it.

Amy said...

Don't hate on Johnny Depp. He is dirty sexy.

My thing is belly buttons. I don't want to go near them. And I never, ever, ever want mine touched. It hurts, it feels weird, and I'm convinced that if you stick a finger in there, it will come undone and my innards will spill out.

Meghan said...

I am not at all shocked to learn we hate many of the same things. Except for cantaloupe. I love that. I am also usually a slave to whatever pop culture thing is going on, but I have refused to ever see a Kardashian episode based totally on hearing about that episode. I do not like sharing my food. Like when we're out to eat and people all decide to give eachother bites of what they ordered. I hate that for lots of reasons, it's not just that I don't like giving away my food-it's more than that. I know that doesn't really fit, but it was something I was just commenting to Joe on the last time we were out with people and had to do that. He always thinks it's hilarious to watch my dread.

Laurie Landaal said...

Toast crumbs on the butter..... enough said!

Shell said...

So, don't hate me, but I love to say the word panties. Like, over and over again. But, it's only b/c my husband visibly cringes when I say it and I love to irritate him. Still friends?

Amanda M. said...

I was looking at some of my older FB pics last night and there's that one with the clown and then you commented and we started talking about your stilt phobia. I totally get the random phobia. If you put me anywhere NEAR an empty swimming pool, I will nearly pass out. If aforementioned empty pool is an INDOOR pool, I will pass out just thinking about it. In fact, I can almost feel a coronary episode coming on right now.
Someone once showed me pics of an empty waterpark. I am sort of shocked I am still alive.

Um, and making love is such a gross phrase, I just hurled a little after typing that.

Amanda said...

Megs- Of course we have the same quirks! I totally know why Joe finds it funny to watch that happen, there is nothing better than when I can tell your comfort level is being crossed by someone in regards to your food!

Shell- I will let that go, because I support any and all attempts a spouse makes to annoy the other spouse. That's what keeps marriage magical.

Amanda-Wow...that empty pool phobia is not one I have experienced or ever heard of before! I'm totally impressed.

Meg said...

For me, it's seeing a guy shave his face. INSTANT gag....the TV commercials kill me! Not sure, but I think it's that I imagine them nicking their jugular and I just can't handle it!