Monday, January 31, 2011

A Good Marriage is a Minefield

The other night I had a dream that my husband flirted with women in a bar while I was standing next to him.  This is stupid on many fronts, but mainly because we don’t go to bars and he does not want to die.  But all the same, I feel it’s important as his wife to keep his mind young and spry by trying to trip him up.  I like to shoot verbal bullets at his feet and watch him dance around them.  I do this because I love him.  

Here is how our conversation went the morning after the dream:

“I had this dream last night and it made me sort of hate you.”

“Super, this will be fun.”


“So, we were at this bar and this girls rugby team walked in....(pause to read his face)....”

“What?”

“Nothing, I’m just seeing how you react to the idea that a girls rugby team walked in.”

“I have no reaction yet, I don’t know if it  is going to be good or bad that they walked in.”


“Oh, OK.  So, they walked in and they all started....wait....what would need to happen to make it a good thing that a girls rugby team walked in to the bar?”  **snicker**

“Well, I mean....it would only end well if you ended up having a great time with these girls while I sat in the corner holding every one's jackets.”  

Wow....I’m in awe.  In our 8 years of marriage he’s become so good at this little dance!

“Mmmmhmmmm.....so anyway for some reason the rugby girls decided to change out of their uniforms in the bar, and they disrobed in front of everyone.”

Here I paused again to read his face. People! He let no reaction show on his face!!  

“That’s disgusting.  People sometimes eat in a bar, no one should be naked.”

Damn.

Tripping him up at this point in our relationship is taking more mental work than ever before.  
He has adapted to my skillz, and now tests me with his cool reactions to keep my mind sharp.  

Just as I challenge him to maneuver around my verbal grenades as gracefully as possible, he is challenging me to become more stealthy in my manipulations.  

And through this manipulation of one another, we show our love.

29 comments:

regas14 said...

Oh wow! This was a lot more funny reliving it than it was the first time around. Maybe it was the fear or the "IT'S A TRAP!" alarm that ruined it the first time around.

Shell said...

He's definitely a wise man!

Julie W. said...

This is so funny to me because I have had a good number of dreams that result in me waking up angry at my husband!

Amy said...

I feel like the better title for this post should be "A Good Marriage is a Blasthole."

anthonyblazer said...

GIVE THIS MAN AN OSCAR!!

Shelly S. said...

THIS:

“Well, I mean....it would only end well if you ended up having a great time with these girls while I sat in the corner holding every one's jackets.”

almost made me snort water all over my keyboard. Maybe reading this at work isn't going to work out so well after all. :)

Jodi Lebrun said...

So funny! My hubby will wake up and say 'I'm so mad at you' and I know right off he's a dream like yours. After 20 years together-I roll my eyes and tell him to shut up ;0)
Saw you on bloggy moms and will follow and comment!
Visit me if you'd like!

http://livinglifephotographically.blogspot.com/2011/01/shhhhdont-tell-my-husband.html

greenTXmom said...

I have had many dreams where my husband is a total jerk. Must be some supressed anger about washing all those white socks I hate pairing up. :/
I've gotten up many a morning and been kind of ticked off at him, not sure why until I remember bits and pieces of my dream. :)
PS: I'm following you. :)

Jamie : hands on said...

Funny! It kinda sounds like my relationship with my husband too :) I'm following from the Bloggy Moms Boost Your Numbers thread - thanks for following me :)

Michelle said...

Too funny! Following you now from Bloggy moms.
Michelle
http://www.heartfeltbalancehandmadelife.blogspot.com

Show Me Mama said...

I am your new follower. You can follow me back at http://showmemama.com. Make sure you leave a comment so I know you visited.

Jules said...

Hahaha! I love this! This has totally happened to me. I think G.R. should buy you something nice to make up for the dream, it's the right thing to do.

Megs said...

So many props to G.R. for that skillful reaction. I loved the part about him holding the jackets and the last thing he said about people shouldn't be naked in a bar. Joe would say that too. Speaking of Joe, he has dreams like this somewhat frequently so I relate totally to G.R. about the fear/trap alarm that is raised in the morning at the start of the comment/questions. The manipulation/response minefield is for sure a great way to show love :) Speaking of love..love you blog!

Callie said...

"....and he does not want to die." HAHAHAHA! This post is a riot!
I'm your newest follower. :)

Tracy said...

Ok, love that story!! I am stopping by from Bloggy Moms to follow!
Please visit me @ www.havingfunsaving.com
Take care,
Tracy

Snuggle Wasteland said...

Too funny! I try to play like this with The TO and he just ignores me. Obviously, he's no fun.

Amanda M. said...

DAMN. He is GOOD.

Joann Mannix said...

I had my very first dream about my husband the other night that made me mad at him when I woke up. We've been married over 20 years. I think that says I'm either I'm overly secure in our relationship or I don't give it a rat's ass what he thinks. Both options are scary.

And after 20 years, he didn't even try to pretend, he just wanted more graphic details.

Amber said...

Awesome! Just awesome!
Came over from Bloggy Moms to say hi, so HI!
Amber @ http:/myhandmadehappiness.blogspot.com

Laurie Landaal said...

OK....please know that I keep a special eye on him when I run into him at Speedway or at Papa Murphy's. He does not flirt with anyone. Not even me!! I have to be honest and say that I might try just a little to get his attention. I do my best flirting at 6:00 a.m. in the coffee line at Speedway!! G.R. is a keeper!!

CharB said...

Funny! FOllowing you from Bloggy Moms. Please stop on by and re-follow. Love humourous people.
Tawanna
www.momsguidetotravel.com

Joann Mannix said...

Hi Amanda,

I hope you don't mind, but I'm in love with your blog and I wanted to give you a shout out at my blog. Sadly, this has strings attached, a stupid meme. I don't do memes, thus the brand of stupid, but someone I love dearly tagged me in this one and so I have to do it. Check out my post today and meme away.

Amanda said...

Joann, I'm so freaking honored! Or maybe there is a classy way of saying it better. I'm full of the class.

We are under about 40 million tons of snow and I'm juggling my kids but I will get er done.

Now...to find out what a meme is....I'm a bit green. I'm off to your site.

Noelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debbie said...

This is an adorable (and funny) post. I enjoyed it and I'll be back for more. Just stopping by from My Blog on the Manic Monday Mixer.

This Mid 30s Life said...

Good man.

Although if it was a men's rugby team that walked in, that would be quite different. ;-)

Grace @ Arms Wide Open said...

HA! What a good man! (or a good liar :)
stoppin by from TRDC! Great post!

Kara said...

Yeah!!!! I've found a new humorous blogger! Love your writing, and I'll definately be back for more!

(whoa.... way over-use of the exclamation mark - sorry - I've let my enthusiasm get the best of me)

Mrs. Tuna said...

They way to trip them up is to ask them questions after you've roused them from a dead sleep. They are week then.

New follower, love the laughs. Follow me back so we can have group stalking.