Monday, August 8, 2011

Dead Pets On A Plane

I hate watching the dread register in the eyes of  fellow passengers on a plane, as you stumble towards them holding your children and 15 bags full of kid crap.


Last week when I was flying towards our beach vacation, I posted about this woman.  Unbelievably enough, on the way home I was again blessed with a patient and helpful stranger named Barry.  Barry did everything to help me and made the trip manageable in every way.  

Unfortunately for Barry, Nora was not able to watch her DVD player until the appropriate elevation was reached and electronics could be turned back on.  


Until that blessed moment, Nora talked Barry's face right off of her saintly head.  

It was probably about 15 minutes of time, but to poor Barry it probably felt like 150 minutes.  Barry was not the only one horrified; as I listened to Nora tell her about every aspect of our life, I cringed almost constantly.  But once Nora gets going, there is not much that can stop her.  And I was busy letting the baby pull my hair out of my head with her tiny devil fists.

Not all of it was bad, most was just harmless chatter.  But here are some of the little nuggets of fun that I overheard Nora sharing.  Or, I guess, over-sharing:

On my vacation, my papa asked me if I like beer, but I told him that beer is only for adults.  He said I could have beer.

It's useful to know here that Nora does not understand the difference between root beer and beer.

Sometimes when my mom is waiting for her pants to dry in the machine, she walks around our house without pants!


One time, my sister had an operation to fix her mouth.  The doctor told my mom and dad that Evie should never put her fingers in her mouth.  But sometimes Evie did put them in her mouth and my parents didn't do anything about it.  

One time my grandpa taught me a song, do you want to hear it?  It's about drunken sailors.  

I had a cat named Gladys, but she's dead now.  Do you have any dead pets?

I think the last one really points to the fact that Nora is going to be a master conversationalist some day.  

Although, I have to say, none of her statements made me quite as uncomfortable as when she announced the color of my underwear to the high school boy bagging our groceries at Pic N Save.  He and I both wanted to die over that one.  

But maybe I shouldn't knock it until I try her conversational techniques.  


Maybe she could teach me a thing or two about conversation? 

So, I ask....do you have any dead pets?  
Please know I'm kidding and don't tell me about your dead pets.

9 comments:

Amanda M. said...

I am so glad you shared this. My M is also a MASTER CONVERSATIONALIST and will strike up a convo with ANYONE and EVERYONE around her. And will tell them a TON of things exactly like what N says. Do you know how many times since my blessed cat died in March of 2010 she has told people about his death? Perhaps a thousand. I really think it would be awesome if we got the two of them together and just unleashed them on whole bunch of unsuspecting strangers. I would love to hear the convo that would ensue.

My Inner Chick said...

I Loved this, Fond.

The innocence of a child is sooooooooooo beautiful.

You are hilareous. xx

Megs said...

I laughed so hard at this post I have now had to read it to my kids, who were wondering why I was cracking up at the computer. They think Nora is very reasonable and didn't get why anything was strange about what she said. I did leave out the part about Nora telling the check out boy your underwear color as I don't want copycatting.
I am still missing Nora :( It was hard starting the day off not playing a game with her. She can over share to me anytime :)

laci512 said...

Bless her heart! You can't make that stuff up! I laughed so hard! Isn't it just like a kid to say, "Momma is wearing green panties." or "Did you know that my cat fluffy died yesterday?"

KLZ said...

I have many, many dead fish I can tell Nora about.

Alia Dalwai said...

Hi Lindsay!

I came across your website on the SITS Forum Thread 'Let the Following Begin'.
I am now following you.
Do visit my blog too and follow it if you like.
Keep the 'Sistahood' alive!

Love,
Alia'
http://aliascreativelife.blogspot.com/

OneMommy said...

LOL! She reminds me of my little girl - she talks to EVERYONE!

Dead pets? Yes, my cat from when I was younger is buried in our yard b/c I couldn't part with her. But we also have a live pet now - a dog.

Julie said...

You kill me, lady.

Or is it Nora?

And if I really did die, would she tell the guy on the airplane about me?

I am wearing pants right now.

True story.

A Randomlicious Blog for the Soul said...

Haha...so funny. I wonder what that man was thinking :) So nice of him to just listen though.
I am a new follower. Found you on the Sits thread.
I'm nervous as to what my 3 year old will be telling people when he starts to converse!
Have a great day.