Thursday, May 26, 2011

On The Anniversary Of Your Execution

Since beginning my blog, I've met a few people along the way that use their blog in a much more useful fashion than I do.


Motivated by an event in their life, they use it as a platform to bring light and energy to a specific cause.  I've seen March of Dimes, the struggle of infertility, post-partum depression and loss all documented by people who write with amazing grace considering what they have experienced in life.  

One of these blogs is written by a woman who has always supported my blog, and I'm so glad because I came to know her story.  

Kim, from My Inner Chick,has suffered the unbearable loss of her sister due to domestic violence.

Her story touches me because I am so close to my own sister.  I also have a friend I consider a sister, and two sisters in law; none of whom I can not fathom losing in this senseless manner.  

It also touches me because, although I have a background in social work, nothing has left me as shocked and in fear for girls as my work in a high school.  


We had many wonderful kids, but my office was stationed right off of a hallway lined with lockers, and as the kids passed I heard things that scared the hell out of me.  

The way a boy would in passing call a girl fat, and she'd giggle and laugh it off.  The way a boy would tell a girl to "Shut the hell up, you bitch" during a daily exchange.  The way kids in my office would tell me of something that occurred that would send me to the guidance office hoping the counselors could drag the truth of a girl who would likely hide it.  

These situations were rare, however to me they were scarier than just what happened in the moment.  It meant this girl was accepting this behavior and would probably continue to do so in future relationships. 

I imagined her being beat down mentally further each time, leading to one final bad relationship.  

Kim's sister, Kay, was murdered by her own husband and father of their children.  Kim's sister was a normal person, like you and me, who had recently decided to get out of a bad relationship.  A decision that was unacceptable by her husband, who instead ended both of their lives. 

Today is the one year anniversary of Kay's senseless passing.  I asked Kim if I could post something in her memory today because the light of her memory should overpower the sadness of her death.


Please know what happened to Kay, happens all the time.  



8 comments:

myinnerchick.com said...

~~Dear Fond,
I thank you for telling my story..Kay's story...the story of SOOOO many women who are in abusive relationships.
Awarness is POWER.
Thank you for allowing my words to EMPOWER other women. I wish I would have told my sister from the very beginning to LEAVE. GET OUT. YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM! I wish I would have said all of these things. I wish. I wish.
but now perhaps other women will read this and make the decision to LEAVE her abuser. There is a plan on my site to get out NOW. There are phone numbers & people waiting to help you.
Don't wait ONE MORE DAY.

Love love love from Minnesota.

Kara said...

Great post that shines a light on a important issues. Well done.

Mommy on the Spot said...

That's horrible! Thank you for posting this. Going to click on the link right now.

I used to work in a junior high. I saw similar things that took my breath away in a bad way.

The Good, The Bad, & The Family said...

Disgusting and senseless. I will keep her kids in prayer as they are the victims of this crime that have to live it out for the rest of thier lives. Love to her whole family and thank you for sharing!

Margaret (@goodbadfamily)

Megs said...

Wow, great post Mandy. What a powerful blog. I agree with myinnerchick-awareness is power. Thank you for bringing more awareness to this topic. I too have been appalled at the treatment of young women in high school/college/etc. and the impact it has on them.

Ms.Wasteland said...

Abusive relationships happen more than we know. Thank your for sharing this story. As you know, it is an issue that is close to my heart.

Julie said...

Oh wow. This post just stopped me in my tracks.

Thank you for sharing.

As a high school teacher for 16 years, I know the conversations you're alluding to.

But I don't have an immediate example like your friend.

I will visit her blog now.

I am so sorry for the circumstances. I, too, cannot fathom such a loss.

Chris said...

this is such a tragic story and unfortunately it happens all too often. I had a cousin who was a victim of violence who has since died of cancer. And like you, having a sister I adore just makes this such a painful story.

by the way I found you via SITS - nice to find you and your blog.

Chris