Our weekends have been filled with exploring our new town. Since my husband looked at a map of the United States one time 13 years ago and has since known where every single highway, street and Buffalo Wild Wings in the country is, we have taken to letting me drive hoping it will help bring it together for me.
I'm more of a learn from experience kind of girl. And by that I mean, about 5 years from now the city's basic grid will begin to seem vaguely familiar to me.
I hate that my downfall reinforces the general stereotype that women have no sense of direction, but I can swear like a sailor, and they aren't supposed to do that either, so I feel like it all evens out.
Last Sunday our little car trip went something like this:
OK, so I'm near 121. If I were to take this to the new house I would follow those signs that say they head to Sherman. Right?
Well, you are talking about heading one direction but pointing to the opposite way with your finger. Which do you mean?
Whatever, I meant to point the way the sign pointed. I would follow signs to Sherman, right?
No, you'd follow the signs to Dallas. Going the opposite direction.
OK. So I will turn left up here, right?
*Trying not to scream* Um, no....here's the map I drew you to keep in the car. It's very clear what you would do.
He hands me the map. It shows three main roads which are all I really need to know to travel through our town correctly.
The problem is, I can't be bothered with that little map he made me.
Then he can't help it.
I really wish maps would just make sense in your head!
Well, I wish you wouldn't pretend to know things that you don't! And then afterwards when the truth comes out we have to fix the situation. I wish you could just be ok with NOT knowing something for once.
OK, that has nothing to do with what's happening right now. Why are you bringing that up?
Because I thought we were talking about what frustrates us about each other?
Just turn left.
Towards Sherman, right?
I've noticed on these drives that my husband tends to get the same look on his face that all the people who tried unsuccessfully to teach me to drive stick did by the end of those lessons.
I can't be bothered with such drivel as directions and what not. I have so many other things to worry about. The radio, noticing a new Super Target, getting the AC to blow the right way out of the vents, whether or not the guy behind me is actually picking his nose or just sort of rubbing it a little with his finger. Let's not even talk about when someone drives in front of me with some sort of bumper sticker that takes all my focus by riling me up. Not to mention the funny ones- "My kid can beat up your honor kid"? How can you not take time to relish that thought?
These things are not my fault.