Whether it be windows, lawn care or trying to sell me their version of Jesus, the peeps just absolutely flock to my door. Until I lived in this home, I never encountered someone trying to sell me a peep hole but I can now say at least 3 people have stopped by my house ecstatic to provide me with a peephole.
It takes me awhile to get past the fact that they are saying peephole. Anything that ends in 'hole' is just plain funny. Because of this fact, I spend at least 15 seconds in my head giggling and picturing 1950's men looking through some hole in the wall at dancing women.
Once I get past that, I settle into the conversation. It's intriguing to me that they stop by because I HAVE WINDOWS ON BOTH SIDES OF MY FRONT DOOR.
Peephole Peep: Hello Ma'am, are you the lady of the house?
This always makes me feel like I'm fancy and should be dressed like Anne of Green Gables.
Me: Why, yes I am. I AM the lady of the house.
Peephole Peep: I notice you do not have a peephole in your door.
Me: No, we do not. Because we do not want one.
Mr. Peephole: Well, ma'am I have to say it's a safety issue.
I stare at him. I want to say, Mr. Peephole, you just knocked on my door and I answered it even though I did not know you from Adam. Had I owned a peephole, I would have looked out and thought, OH GOD, it's a peephole guy and not answered. Clearly, neither of us is that bright, so let's keep our judgey pants off, mmmkay?
Instead I say: We have windows going down both sides of the door, so I can already see whoever knocks.
Perry Peephole: Well, you'll probably add curtains to the windows on each side of the door.
Me: No. Then I'd need to buy a peephole. And then, when it was all said and done, I would have purchased your peephole and had two curtains custom made for each window. OR...and I'm just throwing this out there, I could keep things as they are and just look out the window to see who is at the door.
Peepy Peeperson: You could make the curtains yourself.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Peephole: Thanks for your time.
Me: You bet.
