tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33898967294640351272024-03-12T23:53:04.331-05:00Fond of the SillinessAmandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-52848136564572171402012-06-20T09:11:00.000-05:002012-06-20T09:16:38.603-05:00My Dad Bought Some New Fangled Phones<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Much to the dismay of AT&T employees all over the s</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">outhern states,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> my Dad and Stepmom bought iPhones and an iPad. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This will obviously be providing endless enjoyment to everyone that comes into contact with them for the remainder of all time. Except, that is, for said AT&T employees.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Soon after their purchase, we decided to FaceTime, knowing they would love to see the grandkids via their new ringie dingies. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The fact that these are referred to as <i>"smart phones"</i> should have been our first clue that our family could <i>not</i> pull this off.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Here's how it went down:</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">First, I called his phone. No answer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Which was weird, because we had just discussed the fact that I <i>would be calling.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Soon I received a call from my stepmother's iPhone instead. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My dad explained that his phone was not working. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I asked what was wrong and he said: <i>This damn woman keeps talking to me when she's not supposed to.</i> </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A little probing and we figured out he meant Siri. Apparently my father feels that Siri is mouthy and out of line. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So we began talking. And I began taking pictures. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It was like walking down a cinematic road, the way he called up memories of terrifying movies.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For a long time, my dad looked like the man behind the curtain from <i>Wizard of Oz.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then he moved onto his<i> Blair Witch Project</i> impersonation with a lot of shaking of the camera and weird angles as he walked around his house while talking.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We had long conversations with my dad's finger.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My<i> favorite</i> part came when we asked him if he would go out onto the balcony and show us the view of the beach. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My dad walked out to the balcony, looked at the beach and kept his phone facing him. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then he said, <i>"There, can you see it?"</i>. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Vjhrf21Yxfg/T-CvdocyAEI/AAAAAAAAArM/55XIRRx7rM0/s1600/IMG_3697.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Vjhrf21Yxfg/T-CvdocyAEI/AAAAAAAAArM/55XIRRx7rM0/s320/IMG_3697.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Just because you are looking at it with your eyeballs, does not mean we see it.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For my stepmom's sake, I'm hoping he grasps this a little bit better soon. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Because when I see her this summer, I plan on teaching her how to FaceTime my Dad from another room, simply to ask him to bring her something like a slice of cheese or a tissue. Or to tell him vital celebrity gossip, like the fact that Whitney Houston died.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My husband really <i>loves</i> when I FaceTime him from our bedroom for that stuff. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just ask him.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">*A small follow up: Shortly after these events took place, my dad actually traded in his phone for a less chatty version of Siri. We all know this does not exist, therefore it was simply the matter of him wearing down some poor AT&T guy that just wanted him out of the store that badly.* </span></i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-8144154706796501812012-06-18T07:00:00.000-05:002012-06-18T07:32:39.575-05:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Summer: A Time for Learning. Duh</span></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Welcome!</i> </span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you are visiting via the lovely Julie Gardner, we are happy to have you here at <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Fond of the Silliness</a>.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> You will find that around these parts </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">we like sarcasm, silliness and have a tendency towards irreverence. Also phrases like "Christ on a bike" can pop up where you least expect them.</span></i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>When you enter the blogging world, you will undoubtedly fall in love with someone else's writing. If you are very lucky, you get to actually become friends with the person who writes the words. And if you are very, very lucky, you find your new blogging friend turns out to have the same qualities that you loved in their words. </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>That is how I see my friend, <a href="http://www.juliecgardner.com/" target="_blank">Julie Gardner, from By Any Other Name</a>. </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Have I mentioned that she was chosen as one of <a href="http://www.blogher.com/node/478218/voty?order=title&sort=desc&category=Identity" target="_blank">BlogHer Voices of The Year? </a></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Julie holds a place in my heart, because from her I've learned the fact that I don't blog everyday does not mean I am not great at blogging. It means that I want to write when it moves me, which she's assured me is just fine. And while it may hold me back from a certain status as a blogger, it will keep my writing the way that I want it to be. </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Julie has graciously agreed to guest post here on my little blog. </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Thank you, Julie. I'm so glad that today we can call you silly. </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>You are going to want to read more of Julie's work, so please visit her website <a href="http://www.juliecgardner.com/" target="_blank">By Any Other Name</a> and follow her on <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/juliecgardner" target="_blank">Twitter here.</a></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>If you are visiting, you may want to check out these posts to get a better taste for Fond of the Silliness: </i></span></div>
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<a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2012/04/here-comes-sundoo-doo-doo-doo.html?utm_source=BP_recent" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>♪Here Comes The Sun...Doo doo doo doo ♪♪</i></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-target-hated-me.html" target="_blank"><i>The Day Target Hated Me</i></a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/12/fancy-nancy-can-bite-me.html" target="_blank"><i>Fancy Nancy Can Bite Me</i></a></span></div>
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<a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/05/day-i-ruined-mass.html" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>The Day I Ruined Mass</i></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/08/seat-7e-on-flight-5790-needs-new-sky.html" target="_blank"><i>Seat 7E On Flight 5790 Needs A New Sky Magazine</i></a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Here she is folks:</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Summer: A Time for Learning. Duh.</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">People, have you checked your calendars lately? It’s June 18<sup>th</sup>. And you know what that means, don’t you?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We’re just two short days away from the official start of summer! </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Yes, as the days stretch longer and the kids finish school, we’re about to gain hours and days and weeks and months of free time to enjoy the spoils of the season.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We’ll go to the beach and the park. Invite friends over to swim. Ride bikes and feed the ducks at that lake behind the library. We’ll actually go inside the library.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Probably.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Because of course we’ll be reading a lot. Like Dostoyevsky. Or something even more literarily literary. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i>50 Shades of Grey</i>, perhaps. I hear it’s a trilogy. Or a threesome. Or something like that.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Anyway.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I should basically be done with all of these activities by Thursday. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And at that point, the leftover cake I baked for my son’s promotion to high school will be gone. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">(Oh, who am I kidding? I finished it last night.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Either way, the truth of the matter is this:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Books and ducks and threesomes can keep a girl occupied for only so long. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And what’s the next step toward a summer jam-packed with fun?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">That’s right. Television. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Duh.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">When I was a kid, I didn’t have a TV in my bedroom so gathering around the tube meant family bonding. (Stop laughing. It did.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Every day we sat on the great-room couch watching <i>Mary Tyler Moore</i> and <i>Bob Newhart</i>; or <i>Soap</i> and <i>M*A*S*H*</i> and <i>Barney Miller,</i> with a cat or a bowl of ice cream (sometimes both) in our laps.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">These were good times, believe me. The best. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Which is what I want for my kids, naturally. And I’m pretty sure those shows continue to air on <i>TVland</i> or some other earnest station dedicated to nostalgia. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Still. In my old age I’ve gotten more high-brow. Not “PBS high-brow.” Oh no. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">A woman only needs one tote bag when carting stale bread across town to chuck at mallards.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So lately we’ve begun watching TLC. You know. The Learning Channel. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Because learning is good. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">(You may quote me.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Take <i>Toddlers & Tiaras,</i> a delightful train wreck in which pageant moms shout “Get it girl!” at their four-year-olds who parade around stage dressed like Julia Roberts’ hooker character in <i>Pretty Woman</i>. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Literally.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">From this my 13-year-old daughter has learned I’m not a total idiot. And when she gushes, “Thanks for not spray-tanning me Mom,” it’s pretty much music to my ears.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">After watching <i>Sister Wives</i>, my 15-year-old son has learned that the challenge of juggling multiple spouses and houses and kids (oh my!) is perhaps not worth the fringe benefits. Ahem. Or amen. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Or both of those things.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Indeed.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And we’ve all gotten sucked into <i>My Strange Addiction</i> where viewers learn America is the land of the free and the home of the depraved.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">It’s easier to feel better about your own habit of spooning Breyer’s Rocky Road directly into your mouth from the carton when they’re profiling a guy who licks the bottom of his bird’s cage. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Or some lady who eats the cushions off her sofa.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I mean, we’re just sitting on ours. So yeah. I guess we’re doing okay.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Then there’s <i>Cake Boss</i> (yum) and <i>LA Ink</i> (ouch) and a few other shows in which people can’t stop bearing children either one at a time or in litters.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But I don’t judge.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">After all, these programs foster discussions about choices and self-control and ohmygod we’re just trying to make it through summer without having to read <i>Crime and Punishment</i> again.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">If the flat screen’s what does it for us? I say, “Get it Girl!”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I mean, “Carry on!”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Because I really liked <i>Barney Miller</i>. And when my kids are grown, I want them to have equally great memories of their own childhoods. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Featuring televisions and cats and ice cream in our laps.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Except without the cats. Because Bill claims he’s allergic and we put up with this limitation on account of we love him.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Still. The man better not turn up lactose intolerant. Or that weak link will be voted out of the family. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Immediately.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-83603091502618883952012-05-02T10:21:00.000-05:002012-05-02T10:27:22.556-05:00The Peephole Dilemma<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">People are drawn to my door to sell me their wares. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Whether it be windows, lawn care or trying to sell me their version of Jesus, the peeps just absolutely flock to my door. Until I lived in this home, I never encountered someone trying to sell me a peep hole but I can now say at least 3 people have stopped by my house ecstatic to provide me with a peephole. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It takes me awhile to get past the fact that they are saying peephole. Anything that ends in 'hole' is just plain funny. Because of this fact, I spend at least 15 seconds in my head giggling and picturing 1950's men looking through some hole in the wall at dancing women. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Once I get past that, I settle into the conversation. It's intriguing to me that they stop by because I HAVE WINDOWS ON BOTH SIDES OF MY FRONT DOOR.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Peephole Peep: Hello Ma'am, are you the lady of the house?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>This always makes me feel like I'm fancy and should be dressed like Anne of Green Gables.</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: Why, yes I am. I AM the lady of the house. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Peephole Peep: I notice you do not have a peephole in your door.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: No, we do not. Because we do not want one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mr. Peephole: Well, ma'am I have to say it's a safety issue.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I stare at him. I want to say, Mr. Peephole, you just knocked on my door and I answered it even though I did not know you from Adam. Had I owned a peephole, I would have looked out and thought, OH GOD, it's a peephole guy and not answered. Clearly, neither of us is that bright, so let's keep our judgey pants off, mmmkay?</span></i></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Instead I say: We have windows going down both sides of the door, so I can already see whoever knocks.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Perry Peephole: Well, you'll probably add curtains to the windows on each side of the door.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: No. Then I'd need to buy a peephole. And then, when it was all said and done, I would have purchased your peephole <i>and </i>had two curtains custom made for each window. OR...and I'm just throwing this out there, I could keep things as they are and just look out the window to see who is at the door.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Peepy Peeperson: You could make the curtains yourself.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Peephole: Thanks for your time. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Me: You bet.</span></div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com65tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-44936548475033079532012-04-28T10:45:00.001-05:002012-04-28T10:45:15.506-05:00I Never Thought I'd Say Mouth This Much<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>What comes out of my mouth on an average day:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Get that out of your mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Get that out of Mosby's mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Seriously, what's in your mouth?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">How did your mouth get so sassy? You better watch your sassy mouth.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Did you put that in your mouth?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What if she puts this in her mouth? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Great, now she put it in her mouth, look on the computer and see if I need to call the DR</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What's in your mouth?! What's purple in your mouth?!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Put this in the dog's mouth so he'll settle down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Put your food in your mouth!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Keep that in your mouth after you chew it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Wipe your mouth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Don't wipe your mouth on that!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Take it out of your mouth!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What just fell out of his mouth? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Don't touch that with your mouth! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The food is in my mouth, please do not try to grab it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />I'm trying to open this with my teeth, that's why it's in my mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Did she just put the sand in her mouth?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Get your hands out of her mouth!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You better not talk to me with that kind of mouth, little girl!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Is my mouth bleeding? The baby just threw her Fur Real pet at my face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm tired, it's time to throw melatonin in my mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>The End.</i></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-19276428133788834002012-04-16T11:39:00.000-05:002012-04-18T12:17:42.955-05:00Hilary Rosen, I Do Not Care For Your Tone Young Lady.<i><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear <span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">Hilary Rosen:</span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am a stay at home mother, so I tried to stop drooling on myself long enough to eek this out. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">Like everyone else, I heard your comments regarding Ann Romney having no clue about financial issues as she <i>has never worked a day in her life *gasp*</i>. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">Like everyone else, I was forced to hear the aftermath. <i>Unlike </i>everyone else, I do not care at all if you think being a stay at home mom leaves one clueless or unable to understand finances. I <i>am</i> mad that you carelessly stirred up the same damn argument again. I <i>am</i> mad that you kicked a fellow female in the crotch. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">When will we stop doing this to one another? How can we in one breathe say that we are irate that our choices as women are being made by a male dominated government, and then in the next cut each other off at the knees?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Women that argue with one another over this issue are absolutely ridiculous. Women that take stabs at another woman's capabilities by way of acerbic commentary are absolutely shameful. And believe me, Ms. Rosen, I like me some sarcasm. </span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">A little background on me, Ms. Rosen; I have stayed at home, and I have worked as a mother. I've known what it is to say in a shaky voice to my child care provider: </span></span></span><span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><i>Don't tell me if she has any firsts, I want to think I get to see them all</i>. </span><span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">And then you know what? I have known what it was to feel guilty because I liked being at work. Eating my lunch with adults. Peeing alone. Running meetings and contributing to projects. Wearing real pants.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">Having done both types of mothering, I can tell you that both involve happiness, guilt, self-doubt, self-loathing, joy, fulfillment, unexpected failure and major accomplishments. </span>
</span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">So, considering all that we get through each day as mothers in general, did you really need to go after one? Was it truly going to change the course of the election?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">Peace Out,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">Amanda</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"><i style="background-color: #cfe2f3;">P.S.- Congrats on rocking a CNN gig! Please use your platform and journalistic powers for good.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"><i style="background-color: #cfe2f3;">Dear Women Enraged By Hilary Rosen:</i></span></span></div>
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"> I have heard the accusatory question from a family member: <i>So....what do you do all day</i>?, and totally understood the judgement and statement veiled loosely behind the question. </span></span></span><span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;">A friend once asked:<i> So, do you even pick up a paper anymore?</i> No dickhead, because what moron spends money on a paper anymore? But, yes I <i>do</i> keep up with the news. Not sure why my news watching would have changed simply because I birthed a human and I am now helping it grow<i>, but thanks so much for asking.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #303030; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But here is the thing, as a former first lady once said: <i>No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. </i>So it truly does not bother me what anyone thinks of this choice. And ladies, both working and staying at home, you need to remember <i>that </i>and quit making snide remarks about this subject.</span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">Because I promise you, there are issues that are </span><i style="line-height: 19px;">not</i><span style="line-height: 19px;"> being addressed while we are busy fighting over this one. And those issues will affect our kids and grandkids.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">Peace Out,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;">Amanda</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"><i><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3;">P.S.- The former first lady I mentioned is Eleanor Roosevelt, and she had six children. Not sure how financially savvy she was, but I do know she kicked some ass on social issues. </span> </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://thingsicantsay.com/" target="_blank">Linked up with Things I Can't Say</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-5489593189672997802012-04-01T15:30:00.000-05:002012-04-01T15:35:14.301-05:00♪Here Comes The Sun...Doo doo doo doo ♪♪<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">One year ago today we woke up 1,000 miles away, got in the family truckster and rolled into our new city in Texas at 4am. We got into the car wearing winter jackets, and shed them the second we exited the car. We wouldn't wear them much in the next year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We walked (trudged) up 4 flights of stairs (seriously?) to our temporary apartment. Although we had never been to the apartment it felt slightly familiar, as G.R. had been living there for a few weeks and Nora had requested a complete tour each time we Skyped with him at night. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The apartment was empty, except for the unfamiliar furniture the relocation company had furnished it with. There were no pictures on the fridge or preschool art on the counters. It looked like it was a place for a family, but it felt like we had walked into a strangers home.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I remember Nora ran immediately to the bedroom the girls would share, to look for the Toy Story sign G.R. had hung up and to find the surprise I had ordered and shipped to the apartment to greet her upon arrival. A stuffed animal that also served as a sleeping bag you could wrap up in, a meager offering to her after taking her out of preschool and moving her away from her friends and family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We were happy to finally be back together after a three week separation, but the arrival in this strange place at 4am was too much. We quickly looked around and called it a night. G.R. slept in the girls bedroom with Nora, and I brought Evie into ours. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We woke up a few hours later in the day, and began day one. Because as anyone reading this knows, life is about getting up and starting day one. We do it after high school, college graduation, when a relationship ends, for new jobs, the day after a loved one dies, the day after a loved one is born, the list goes on and on. Good or bad change, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and figure out the new way you will begin to live. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, that's what we did. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Source: <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=3389896729464035127" style="color: #76838b; text-decoration: underline;">Uploaded by user</a> via <a href="http://pinterest.com/amandaregas/" style="color: #76838b; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">Amanda</a> on <a href="http://pinterest.com/" style="color: #76838b; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">Pinterest</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This part of our story reminds me of the wedding I attended of an old friend. She, always having been far cooler than I, had the most amazing reading at her wedding. While the rest of us had "Love is patient...." she had <a href="http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/prose/oriah_mountain_dreamer/invitation/" target="_blank"><i>The Invitation </i>by Oriah Mountain Dreamer</a>. There have been many times I have thought of this reading in my own marriage, but never more than that morning as we faced our new reality. G.R. and I were in it alone, really for the first time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That morning I googled the poem, because I wanted to read these lines again:</span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: #cfe2f3;">I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.</i>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">365 days later I look back at the ups and downs and feel sort of bad for those people starting day one. There were a lot of lonely moments during a long hot summer where no one really came out of their houses, exhausting amounts of putting ourselves out there to meet other people, and lots of stress as we moved into a new home. Oh, and our baby had major surgery in this new place. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But I'm a "fake it till you make it" person, so that's what I did. I set out to be happy, take the opportunity and to create a happy life. That may sound brave, but really it was my only choice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Some days I <i>rocked</i> it, pushed my limits and met people. Some days I failed miserably and would tear up suddenly while driving and would spend the rest of the day watching Mad Men seasons on Netflix. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Either way, one day faking it stopped and we had made it. Which was no surprise, because to me that's sort of the secret to life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Looking back I'm equally amazed by how well we stayed in touch with the people we have always loved, as I am amazed with the people we've met. It's an incredible blessing, that I don't take lightly, to be able to say such a thing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I don't write this blog to be all about me. The point of it is that your past year was likely exactly like mine. You may not have moved, or had a kid with medical issues or woken up in a strange place. But in some way, you too had a day one and kept going. Again, it's what this life is about and we will all do it over and over again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've learned important things in the last year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When you want to say something mean about a person, but also seem like you are not doing it, you can say "<i>bless her heart</i>!". This is an awesome southern thing that is absolutely the best. For example, "She is so loud, bless her heart!" or "She has quite an assortment of tight dresses, bless her heart!". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've also learned one of the single most important lessons of my life- to go to church not so I <i>will be</i> saved, but <i>because</i> I have been saved. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've learned that fire ants hurt like a b*tch, and that I love not being trapped in the house for 9 months of the year due to cold. Say what you will about the Texas summer, but humans need sun to feel mentally well, and when you can get out year round you just<i> feel</i> better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I've learned that it can be a stressful thing, but the <i>best</i> thing for a marriage, to leave and make it on your own somewhere without a safety net. When you have no one else, you depend on and appreciate each other in a way that is new and different. You also tend to define what is important to you when you are trying to introduce your family to other families, and that is a blessing too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Lastly, I've learned that if my husband comes home any time in the next decade and tells me it's time for a relocation, I'm going to react with the kind of crazy Britney Spears channeled when she'd had enough of the paparazzi and beat the hell out of a photog's car with her umbrella while sporting her recently shaved head and best crazy eyes. Bless her heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Life is good!</span><br />
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<br /></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-34746273157651220152012-03-30T10:53:00.001-05:002012-03-30T11:30:21.250-05:00Locks of Love<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i>Inspired by her 4 year old friend, Campbell, Nora decided to give her hair to Locks of Love!</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Back in the long hair days...</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>During</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>When I was a kid, no one cut my hair while I watched a movie. </i><br />
<i>My mom told me to sit on my butt and stop whining. And then I walked up hill, both ways, to school.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Evie busied herself with eating the crayons. I finally removed her from the crayons after someone from the salon came and gave Evie a sucker. The salon owner suggested that Evie may like to put the sucker in her mouth instead. That's how you know people admire your parenting skillz.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Somehow, having her hair cut has turned Nora into a teenager (<i>which is weird, because usually she acts like she's 35</i>) This is what she did on the way home. This child NEVER sleeps in the car. And now she seems to do so with such "<i>This world is boring me</i>" attitude.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No one email me. I don't let her sit this way while I drive. <br />
She just sees me sitting this way while I drive, with both legs up on the dashboard, so she wanted to try it.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">On the way home we talked about how when I was in high school my mom, Nora's Grandma, once had to take a medicine that made her lose all her hair. It made it extra meaningful to Nora that she had donated her hair to this cause. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">My mom had a horrible wig that was fake and icky. It did not make her look like her old self, so she never wore it. Because of people like Nora, people can have more natural looking hair.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Here are 2 ways to give your hair:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.locksoflove.org/" target="_blank">Locks of Love</a></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.pantene.com/en-us/beautiful-lengths-cause/Pages/default.aspx" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Pantene Beautiful Lengths</span></a></div>
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</div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-20146903958790932482012-03-28T14:35:00.001-05:002012-03-28T19:07:47.983-05:00What's More Important? The Love...Or The Silliness?<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The title of my blog is a little weird. I suppose that is fitting, but figured I'd given an explanation. My husband is actually the one who came up with the name and it's based on our favorite episode of Friends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">It's our favorite because it exemplifies how a fight between the two of us would go down. It occurred in an episode where Chandler and Monica started out happy because they had decided to move in together, and their excitement soon fizzled due to their inability to agree on what they should do with the second bedroom. Ross stepped in to help. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">G.R. and I don't really fight much, but we do irritate the hell out of each other. Every <i>good</i> couple drives each other crazy, and this is accomplished by using some very distinct attributes of each person's personality. In our case, G.R. is a know it all and I am sarcastic and touchy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Watch the following link and you will see where the blog's name came to be. Pay particularly close attention to when Chandler chooses the <i>exact wrong time</i> to be a know it all and Monica asks him "Why do you do it?",while trying to kill him with her eyes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxbN7YX20Ow&t=2m35s" target="_blank">Fond of the Silliness ~ Friends Episode</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*you have to click on the link because I'm not smart enough to get the you tube video IN my blog. It will open a new screen, so don't be afraid of being whisked away from my awesome and life changing words</span>.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">That my friends, is what it's like to be a fly on the wall when G.R. and I are irritating each other. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">When it came time to name the blog, G.R. threw this one out there and that's how it came to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So put that in your pipe and smoke it.</span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-55554310282860170942012-03-21T15:19:00.000-05:002012-03-21T15:19:47.629-05:00Spring Break, A White Trash Scenario & My Dogs Nethers<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's been awhile since I blogged. We've been busy with fun family stuff, but all things that would bore you to death unless you are blood related to me. And I promised never to blog about daily life lest you want to punch me in the face. There's nothing more boring than a blog entry that tells you all about how someone went to the park that day and their kid went down a slide and then they had capri suns and they made a craft and then had dinner at home and OHMYGODWHOCARES? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My sister came to visit! It was spring break so we got tattoos! Tramp stamps! No, we didn't. That was fun though, wasn't it Dad?</span><br />
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<div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm fairly certain my sister not getting a tattoo was influenced by our step mother's rule that any female in the family who gets any sort of ink on her body gets an automatic exit from the will. Yes, boys are allowed to get tattoos. She's a woman from the South, which means she can say whatever she wants and it goes. I'm desperately trying to become the exact same way because it's pretty awesome how she pulls that off. (Although this fact about southern women scares me now that my two highly opinionated daughters are possibly going to be raised in the South. I'm already super obnoxious, can they really top me? Can we all live in the same house if they do? What will become of my husband?)</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Highlights of my sister's trip included drinking copious amounts of wine, actually staying up past 10pm, and watching her and my husband bicker like brother and sister. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One evening they actually spent 30 minutes throwing a dog toy at each other. I sat there watching it and contemplated calling the police. They were both laughing and having fun, so calling the police was not actually merited, but I thought it would make a great white trash scene on our lawn if I could get us all out there screaming about a dog toy while squad car lights lit up the night sky. I decided if I did call the police I would also totally wake up the baby and let her walk around the front yard wearing a diaper, because that's really the white trash piece de resistance. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'd have to say my favorite part of Julia's visit was watching her try to find a big, Texas sized insect or reptile. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We would sit out at night in the dark and her reaction to bugs zooming at her head was more than enough entertainment for me. I also delighted in the high pitch screams of my niece who was horrified that Nora was walking around holding 5 roly poly bugs in her hand during a walk we took. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Unfortunately, the only thing we found during their visit was a tiny snake that was already dead. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's a good thing Julia came when she did as it rained so much afterwards that I'm pretty sure Texas has begun floating away from the United States. I hope this does not lead to a Hunger Games scenario. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">During my blogging hiatus my dog had some of manly bits removed. The men that read this blog all just cringed. All 6 of them. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The process was super fun for both Mosby and I. It began, <i>as all fun stories do,</i> with my husband traveling and ended with me sleeping with a 50 pound lab wearing a cone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--5GHln9e8vA/T2oz8Cq9fzI/AAAAAAAAAoM/FFOd6wW02qw/s1600/PHOTO+(18)_crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--5GHln9e8vA/T2oz8Cq9fzI/AAAAAAAAAoM/FFOd6wW02qw/s200/PHOTO+(18)_crop.jpg" width="158" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This dog is happy even after ball removing surgery.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I dropped Mosby off, the fact that I had a spazzy lab puppy, a 17 month old in a stroller screaming and a 6 year old sobbing, "IS MY DOG GOING TO DIE?!" was not enough for the receptionist and thus she delighted in sharing the worst news I've <i>ever</i> gotten. Did <i>you</i> know that it's just a myth that neutering an animal will calm it down? Because I sure as hell did<i> not</i> know. But the mean receptionist shot down all my dreams, right there at 7am before I had even ingested coffee. People like that do not have souls.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We spent the next two days being run down by a dog wearing a cone on his head. Since Evie and Mosby both follow me around all day, I had a toddler hitting me behind the knee on one side and my cone head on the other side, knocking my knee forward causing me to lose my balance all the live long day. Good times!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After two fun days of watching my poor dog accidentely plow Evie over because he could not see her due to his lack of peripheral vision, my husband came home. He declared the dog pitiful and when I stepped out of the room for one second he REMOVED THE CONE. Thus began the second part of our journey, which was "Let's all constantly watch the dog and squirt him with water whenever he decides to visit his nether region via his mouth." That went on for 12 blessed days and then we had our new and improved dog. Micro-chipped and without cajones, that's how Mosby rolls now.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jraWZuxYo74/T2ozAVXeofI/AAAAAAAAAoE/6MTmFP6Oj0A/s1600/photo+(17)_crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="151" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jraWZuxYo74/T2ozAVXeofI/AAAAAAAAAoE/6MTmFP6Oj0A/s200/photo+(17)_crop.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Evie is run over by Mosby for the 22nd time in one hour.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let me just conclude with this information: Both the </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">veterinarian</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> and the vet techs mentioned Mosby's procedure was made more difficult by the fact that he was <i>very well endowed. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I told my sister it was lucky Mosby had this done right before she visited, because it allowed me to proudly display his bits in a jar by the side of her bed in the guest room. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As always, you're welcome for all the imagery I've given you to ponder.</span></div></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-976763757158273592012-02-28T14:00:00.000-06:002012-02-28T14:00:27.211-06:00Let Me Tell You About How I Made Myself Look Like An Idiot Again. Again.<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There is an alarm on my phone that goes off to let me know I need to wrap up what I'm doing and within the next ten minutes walk to Nora's bus stop. I have it set because when Evelyn was a newborn I fell asleep holding her and awoke to my husband calling me frantically, wondering why Nora's preschool was contacting him at work telling him that they had been unable to get a hold of me and no one had picked up our then 4 year old daughter. Let's just say, I felt some guilt about that and have lived by alarms ever since.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, the alarm on my phone did not go off last Wednesday when I needed to start wrapping things up to prepare for bus drop off. I was glad I caught it and headed to Nora's bus stop. Realizing I got there early I meandered near the lake by her stop. I was looking for snakes, spiders or anything else I need to know lives there so I can properly obsess over it. After awhile it occurred to me that I had been outside for quite awhile.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Looking at my phone I tensed up. Normally Nora would have been dropped off by then. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I waited 5 more minutes. No bus and no Nora.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It was now 15 minutes after my 6 year old was usually dropped off and I texted my husband letting him know I was scared.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He agreed that it was odd.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I waited another 5 minutes and then started picturing myself on CNN begging someone to bring my child back.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I texted my husband again and he suggested I call the school.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My heart pounded so loud I heard it in my head while I dialed her school.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The secretary answered and I tried to stay calm, as I screamed in my head, and explained that it was 30 minutes after the time my Nora's bus normally drops her off and I just wondered if they had heard from the bus company about any situations.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Her silence nearly killed me. I thought, "She knows something! She can't bear to tell me!".</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Indeed she did know something.</span></i></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">She finally spoke and said, "Ma'am....we have not dismissed yet". </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At that moment, all of this came together in my head. I looked at the clock on my phone and it read 2:57.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not 3:57.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was a dumbass.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I would like to say that my <i>immediate</i> reaction was pure relief, but I have to be honest. My first reaction was: <i>I never gave them my name! They don't know who I am! Thank God! GET OFF THE PHONE IN CASE THEY TRACE THE CALL!</i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I would love to give you an explanation for how I came to think it was time to go wait for Nora, but I honestly have none. But if hard pressed, I'd probably say it has something to do with the fact that since having my children I've lost my mind.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Also, WHY did my husband not catch it either? </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is times like these that I understand why our 6 year old believes us to be idiots.</span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-4605437045573458572012-02-23T15:01:00.000-06:002012-02-23T15:01:42.046-06:00We All Have Our Crosses to Bear, My Husband's is My Lenten Sacrifice.<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, it's finally happened.</span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I went to my Google home page, where all my "most visited" websites are stored, and as I went to click on my blog....I saw it. That bastard <i>Pinterest</i> had taken the place that once sported my blog in all its glory. My blog is no longer even on the page! <i> I KNOW!</i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is sad to me. A lot of things can be put off for other things in my life and I would be ok with it. Housework can fall to the wayside so that I can go out and do something with my kids. Groceries can not be gotten because I seriously needed to watch the Grammy's on my DVR so that I could properly despise Chris Brown and his pompous face. But, I'll be damned if <i>my blog </i>will fall off the planet just so that I can pin ANOTHER freaking chicken recipe to a nonexistent board. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, naturally I took control. I've given up Facebook for a spell. I think Lent is a perfect time to do such a thing. Because I know, in between weeping for the pain we all encounter on earth and trying to perform miracles, Jesus totally cares that I gave up Facebook. And yes, I know this started out with Pinterest, but I'm not giving that up. Come on people! My family needs to eat and I think they are enjoying eating less spaghetti and instead seeing all the ways I can use aluminum foil, cupcake liners and crock pots. Plus, where else can you find ideas as good as this:</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LRBWroZa9Xs/T0anoAYGGwI/AAAAAAAAAno/tLrBjTM9EXc/s1600/wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LRBWroZa9Xs/T0anoAYGGwI/AAAAAAAAAno/tLrBjTM9EXc/s320/wedding.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Giving up Facebook is a good choice for me. It's something painful to give up, because it's how I stay connected to all my family and friends that live far. And it's something familiar that I turn to, which means when I think of logging on I catch myself, refocus and think about Lent. It also makes me think about people hanging out and having fun without me, and as I'm highly opposed to that happening <i>ever</i>, it's quite unsettling for me.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know who my giving up Facebook is <i>not</i> a good choice for? My husband. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My husband leaves the house at 6am everyday and gets home around 6ish at night. We then leap into dinner, reading and bedtime stuff with the girls. He finally sits down around 8pm, at which time he usually looks around the internet on his iPad and I'm on the computer while we watch a show together. We generally do this until we are both so tired and weak from the day that we are certain it must be midnight, even though it's only 9:20. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Instead of following that old routine, now that I've given up Facebook, I have focused on ruining his life (can you sense my Lenten spirit?). </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here's how things went last night:</span></i></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We flopped onto the couch, exhausted from our children and the world. He reached for his iPad and I started chatting away.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I talked about our kids, our dog, something funny that happened, that mom that I despise (again, sense my Lenten spirit) and the whole time he's looking at his iPad and responding where he <i>needed </i>to, but I could tell it was not because he <i>wanted</i> to! Can you imagine? </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, obviously I said, "I feel like you're not even participating in our conversation!". He looked befuddled, probably because he didn't realize holding a conversation was going to be our thing at night now, and put his iPad down and we watched a show. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tonight, I'm thinking of spending some time focusing on some type of marriage question so we can bond. Something of the, "W<i>here do you see us in 5 years or can you list the top 10 things you love about me? or WHY have we not bought a pot-bellied pig yet?!" </i>variety.<i> </i></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think he's going to <i>love</i> Lent. </span></div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-58203956586627560822011-12-16T12:36:00.001-06:002011-12-16T13:23:00.246-06:00Fancy Nancy Can Bite Me<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">As all things do, it all began so innocently...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm going to make Fancy Nancy cupcake toppers for Nora's Fancy Nancy themed birthday party! This is going to be a cute and economical way to make the small touches to her party awesome! A friend took the time to create the super cute images for me, I just have to print them out and use the hole punch she gave me. Easy peasy! <i> </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>OK. Having some problems with the printer. It's not happy with the card-stock.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Got it to print on the G*d D#!N card-stock, now I'm going to use the hole punch.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>Crap</b>, it keeps cutting off the image weird. How do you get this stupid paper to sit in the hole punch correctly?</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Christ on a bike! I need to make more copies because I ruined all of them trying to use the hole punch.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Text equally craft challenged friend to let her know I'm near tears over cupcake toppers. She assures me I'm still a good person.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>MOTHER TRUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PRINTER! </b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Printed them out again. <b>Phew.</b></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>HOLE PUNCH I HATE YOU.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Dog is now eating the scraps all around me as I sit and stare in wonderment at the hole punch thing-a-ma-doo, thinking about the fact that the friend who nicely created the topper images for me will be at the party tomorrow and see first hand that I'm a dill hole.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Google "</i>how to use the Fiskars hole punch"<i> and be led to a site giving them praise for being so user friendly that arthritic elderly people use them with ease.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Feel a hatred towards Fancy Nancy that I've never experienced towards any other person. </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Text husband that I can't be all things to all people: He's had to travel for work this week, I've had sick children, a birthday party, Christmas cookie exchange and Christmas party stuff to handle for the last week. I AM BUCKLING AND THE CAKE TOPPERS WANT TO KILL ME! </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Husband texts me back and asks me to put the hole punch down.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Call Walmart and ask them to add sprinkles to the cupcakes that I ordered since they will have no cupcake toppers.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>End the experience by contemplating that whenever I've seen Martha Stewart's daughter being interviewed, she comes off as cold and dour. </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Pat my own back that I'm not like Martha Stewart and instead have lovely, happy daughters. Feel smug.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Write blog about this experience because that is one thing I <b>can</b> do. </span></i></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-40297467107416515922011-12-14T20:48:00.000-06:002011-12-14T20:48:54.097-06:00...and when they offer you handouts on the street, of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>Dear</i> <i>Nora,</i></span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Most parents would say that they can't believe how fast time has gone- here you are 6 years old. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But for me, the only time you ever acted slowly was during pregnancy and labor. You would not have come out if not absolutely forced. And still you love to be cozy, taking twenty minutes each night to arrange your blankets, stuffed animals and ten books all around you. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But once you hit this world you joined it with a vengeance. You have rarely been cautious when it comes to experiencing life and you don't waste time. I'm <i>not</i> surprised you're 6 in the same way I <i>am</i> surprised your sister is already 15 months. Does that make sense?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You are a people person. Your roughest hours are the ones between 3pm and bedtime, because we only have three other people in this house. That kind of person to Nora ratio simply does not meet your needs. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You have this wonderful love for the rather mundane things in your life. You love an adventure, but you thrive on your daily life and in this way I understand you. You want to walk into a huge building each day and surround yourself with all sorts of characters. You do everything big- if you are going to be in preschool, you are going to know every person in that preschool and even have the director wrapped around your finger. Now that you have started elementary school it is the same. When I walk through your new school the principal, nurse, librarian, counselor and even the lunch lady talk to me about you. We've been trying to meet people in this new area, and it seems each person I meet at our church says to me, "Oh, Nora's your daughter? I taught her in Sunday school, she's a character!". You own your little world and I know that already our limitations and attempts to control it make you resentful. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You are frustrating. SO frustrating. Our constant battle is against you operating like the 3rd adult in this house. Dad and I can not communicate with each other without your constant intercessions. You make arguments so well sometimes, that the only reason you do not win the battle is because <i>we know</i> we need to stick to our guns to make sure the line is drawn between you and us.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You are also the <i>joy</i> in this house. You make simple situations seem so special and important and full of opportunity. Cartoons in the morning! Pizza and a movie on Friday night! A bubble bath in mom and dad's big tub! Chalking our driveway with a family portrait! Getting to wear a skirt that looks like a tutu!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hope you always keep the mentality that the simple things in life are the most fun, because the grass is always greener mentality tends to hit us all. And it's so exhausting. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Out of all of us, this year has probably been hardest on you. Shortly after you turned 5 we moved 1,000 miles away. The distance meant nothing to you, but the fact that you had to leave your 4K class, friends and family is something you are still not over. I think you have completely moved forward, and then suddenly you'll express some sadness that hurts me to the core. It's all still in your head, what you've left.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hope that when you look back on this change you see that it allowed us to give you more than we had been able to before, and that was 100% our motivation in leaving all those things behind. Your education, home, spiritual life, surroundings, and opportunity- all of these things are better. What you may come to know as you get older is how much it cost us too. It was an investment in your life, to chase this opportunity. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I also hope when you look back you'll remember all the visitors we had in the first year we lived in this place- both sets of grandparents twice, Aunt Julia, Uncle Dave, Hailey and Caleb, Aunt Meghan, Sarah and Addie, and Mark. And the ones who have not been here yet are always trying to figure out how to work it into their very busy lives. These people will always come find you in this world.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This move occurred at a time when you became a big sister and our family dynamic shifted from dad and I obsessing over your every breathe for five years (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I can remember you having a coughing fit one day, and before I realized that dad and I were both staring at you with concern, you looked over and said, "Guys, </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm fine</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">.")</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">, to having to share that focus with, of all things, </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">another </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">little girl. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On top of all of those things, your sister was born with a fixable, yet stressful medical situation. I know that must have been hard. All the doctor visits (where you would point out to those examining her: "<i>She doesn't like what you are doing!</i>"), all the discussions of the baby, and at times my focus- out of fear of the unknown- had to shift towards protecting Evie. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hope when you look back on this time you don't remember all of those things, I hope you remember Nana spending time with you singing songs, staying in a hotel and taking that cab ride you thought was so awesome. I hope you don't remember us being tired or scared or stressed while we stayed in the hospital with Evie, but instead I hope you remember getting to eat ice cream for breakfast the morning after her surgery, a secret Nana told you to keep but you just couldn't hold in! I also hope that you remember that Dad and I beg Evie for kisses, but she only consistently gives them to you. And Elmo.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Your brain has exploded with learning now. You are reading and using words like 'literally' in their correct context- which is more than I can say for most people. You see patterns in this world now and you see basic math situations and point them out everywhere we go. It's been an exciting past year. I can not imagine what this new year will bring.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My mom used to tell me that this was my world, and everyone else was just living in it. Um....no. She never met you.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Nora, this is YOUR world. The rest of us are just living in it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter.html" target="_blank">If I Should Have A Daughter by Sarah Kay (Video)</a></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Happy Birthday, Nora!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>Love you,</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>Mom</i></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-15262415791413749802011-12-12T17:43:00.000-06:002011-12-12T17:43:08.626-06:00Another Season, Another Reason Why Sister Wives Would Be Helpful.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Christmas is a difficult time for those of us who are challenged. </span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">While people are perfecting their handmade holiday decorations, here in Team R land we are still tripping over the Christmas decoration boxes we brought out of storage weeks ago. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">We decorated our home at the beginning of December, yet the boxes still lay here. At this point we must ask, do we <i>bother </i>putting them away? Soon we'll just have to get them out again to put all this red and green crap back. </span><br />
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<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">There is a smug woman out there right now who has completed <i>all </i>her baking, shopping and wrapping. Now she's just sitting back, ready to bask in the holiday joy. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Meanwhile while fervently purchasing gift cards on the internet to offer people the ultimate personal gift this year, I noticed our toddler was MIA. I found her in the bathroom, where she was playing in the toilet with a spoon. When I came out of the bathroom with her, I walked into the living room where the dog was eating my wallet. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">While moms are planning the perfect <i>Elf on the Shelf </i>moment, I'm scrambling because I messed up and Nora ended up seeing Evie's Santa presents. To get her back, I'm thinking of hanging a freaky <i>Elf on the Shelf</i> elf by its toes over Nora's bed whilst she sleeps, so that she wakes with it hovering overhead. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I was worried about having a decorated Christmas tree this year, because we have both a toddler and a puppy. I was certain they would both be pulling down ornaments and breaking them. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">How did that pan out? Well, let's check out the situation so far:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Broken Ornaments for the 2011 Christmas Season</b>: </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Toddler</i>- 0 </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Puppy-</i> 0 </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Mom</i>- 3</span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Every day I'm receiving lovely family portraits that people have sent out as their Christmas cards. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Meanwhile, I don't have Christmas pictures of my beautiful girls. But I <i>do</i> have these to share at holiday parties:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>I can only assume he found this hussy in a bar somewhere.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>I'm especially proud of this holiday moment</i></span>.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Nora's hair is caught in Mosby's dog collar. <br />
Yes, that actually happened. My faithful readers may remember <i>The Strawberry Shortcake Car inciden</i>t, <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/03/getting-lawyered-by-my-5-year-old.html" target="_blank">click here to read about that one.</a></span></td></tr>
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So, I wrote this blog with YOU in mind. That's right, you right there. The one who put her cookies in the oven to bake and then went out to get the mail, started chatting with a neighbor and forgot all about the cookies, only to come home to charred black cookies that look like the Grinch's heart before it grew.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I salute <i>you</i>, other challenged girls. Somehow our families end up just as happy as those who pull off a Christmas that looked like Etsy and Pinterest threw up all over it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">Merry Christmas! </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
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</span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-70907270088977588592011-11-30T10:28:00.001-06:002011-11-30T12:47:13.145-06:002011 ~ The Year Of The Giant-Ass Spiders<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In order to celebrate the closing of 2011, I would like to share what I have learned this year. Obviously, most revolves around moving from Wisconsin to Texas. </span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Whenever possible I linked it to my old blog posts, because sometimes it's <i>nice</i> to read about a train wreck more than once. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Here is a side note for my dad: Anything in pink is a link. Please don't call me and ask me where the links are, or what a link is. Just click and enjoy!</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/05/so-heres-deal.html" target="_blank">The bobcats are not as enticed with me as I thought they would be.</a> I've not been mauled even once.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Armadillos jump. Also: It's not possible to actually find an armadillo that hasn't been smashed in the road. As God is my witness, I WILL one day see an armadillo.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A gelding means a <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/04/clap-clap-clap-clap-deep-in-heart-of.html" target="_blank">"horse that ain't got no balls"</a>. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Like everything in Texas, <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/08/even-u2-cant-save-this-spider-now.html" target="_blank">the spiders are bigger. Much, much bigger</a>.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When you cancel all your original air travel plans because your cat is not allowed to fly, and take on the arduous task of driving to Texas, that <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/05/one-where-my-cat-died.html" target="_blank">cat will kick the bucket a few weeks after you get to Texas</a>. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You will then promise your heartbroken and homesick daughter a dog. <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/08/if-our-house-was-pasta-it-would-be.html" target="_blank">And all hell will break loose</a>.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/10/let-me-make-you-feel-better-about.html" target="_blank">When they tell you to pay your water bill in Texas, they are not messing around</a>. Water is pretty sacred </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">around here. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Learning a new town is quite difficult <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/05/cant-they-make-cars-that-drive.html" target="_blank">when you are so direction challenged that you couldn't find your ass with two hands a flashlight.</a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When you are trying to keep yourself under the radar and just give yourself time to acclimate to your new life in a new state, <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/07/shockingly-it-took-us-3-months-to-meet.html" target="_blank">that is the exact moment when your daughter will crack her head on a pool slide, hundreds of people will be cleared out of the pool, and ambulances will be called</a>. This blows all anonymity for the rest of the summer at the pool, by the way.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Try as you might to not have an accent around your new Texas friends, saying things like "<i>you betcha</i>" and "<i>ya know</i>" are mighty hard habits to break after growing up in Minnesota.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When you live in the Midwest and the temperatures hit 100 degrees for several days, you will be urged by the news media to "check on the young and the elderly", drink lots of water and stay in your home whenever possible. When it happens in Texas the weather man just says, "It's going to be hotter than a mother f#$&-er again today."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When it rains in Texas, local news channels will actually send someone out to the field to provide us with a live shot of the light sprinkle. If it stops raining before their live shot, they will actually show you the rain drops on their rain jacket. This actually happened.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's surprisingly hard to find good BBQ in Texas. But when you do, it's like a religious experience.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/08/seat-7e-on-flight-5790-needs-new-sky.html" target="_blank">When you choose to travel alone with your two young daughters on a nearly 3 hour plane ride....well you're just a big dumb idiot if you choose that.</a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When moving to Texas from the Midwest, one of the saddest things is the idea of missing out on the beautiful Midwest fall. Then you experience the Texas fall and you realize, like everything else about the move, it will be OK.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nnIESyDnuz0/TtZV1dVvYkI/AAAAAAAAAmM/mAr_qitXkBY/s1600/Texas+Blog+please+work.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nnIESyDnuz0/TtZV1dVvYkI/AAAAAAAAAmM/mAr_qitXkBY/s320/Texas+Blog+please+work.jpg" width="245" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><b>Bring it on 2012!</b></span></span></div></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
</div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-3012575601588313842011-10-11T20:38:00.000-05:002011-10-11T20:38:26.343-05:00Remember How Your Parents Forgot You Places? Oh, Wait That Was Me.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I was a kid, my parents brought me to a zoo in California that had an alligator pit. Naturally, my head got stuck between the fence post that surrounded the alligator pit. Naturally, my parents turned around and left the exhibit not realizing their beloved child's head was dangling above the alligators. Can you say middle child? No one <i>noticed. </i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Soon they realized I was not with them and retraced their steps. They found my ass sticking out of a fence and several zoo employees gathered around me, along with a small gathering of zoo patrons enjoying the show. I was too young to remember, but I'd like to think there was a tub of butter or Crisco that they were rubbing on my head to pop it out of there. Regardless, I was not eaten by the gators, so although I must have blocked it out, I did in fact escape. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Interestingly enough, I'm not that scared of alligators. I mean, I'm appropriately scared given that they can rip my face off. But I have a larger fear of Ronald McDonald, Oompa Loompas, and the word 'panties'. Maybe it's because for a short time, I lived among the gators in their habitat at the zoo. You know, like the boy who was raised with the wolves? He was totally down with wolves.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Fast forward to kindergarten. You know how a teacher decorates her classroom with the students names and birthdays? My mom noticed that mine said August 3. She corrected the teacher, telling her that was the wrong birthday. The teacher said that August 3 was the date she was given in the front office. I'm going to fast forward this little tale to the part where my mom found out <i>SHE HAD BEEN CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY ON THE WRONG DAY! </i>When she brought them a copy of my birth certificate for my school file, all was revealed.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>And, </i>to add insult to injury, she had thought my birthday was<i> later</i> in the week. So there I was, a young kid whose parents let her head get stuck in an alligator pit, and I was not even celebrating my birthday on the day it was happening. My real birthday just passed like any regular day. We probably ate fish sticks or something vulgar on the day of my birth! I should have been dining on mac and cheese! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">She could never tell me how many years she had screwed up the date, but she did love that story. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">FYI- if you are questioning the validity of these stories just know that my dad reads this blog and can verify. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Also know that if you are questioning these stories, it tells me that you had a normal upbringing<i>.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, next time you are wondering about how I got this strange, just reflect on these stories.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">P.S.~Next time, maybe I will tell you about how my sister <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-andrew-bogut-met-me.html"><i>(who I also talk about in this post)</i></a> accidentally cut my finger off in our front door. </span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://blog-awards.parents.com/blog-awards/mom_blogs/1142-fond-of-the-silliness#badge_window">Click here and vote for this blog to win the parenting.com funniest mom blog award. Like I said, I won't win, but it will help me find some new blood to read my drivel. Thank you!!</a> </span></i><br />
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</i>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-32492345070777690622011-10-06T08:58:00.000-05:002011-10-06T08:58:38.307-05:00Be Scared World, I'm Part Of The Brain<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yesterday I made a decision I'm very excited about and wanted to share today. I joined The Brains of a site that I've loved for a long time. <a href="http://www.bandbacktogether.com/all-posts">The site is <i>Band Back Together</i></a>.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Band Back Together Project (The Band) was started in September 2010, by Becky Sherrick Harks. You may know her from <a href="http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/becky-sherrick-harks/100-things-about-becky-sherrick-harks"><i>Mommy Wants Vodka</i></a>. Awhile back I wrote about her <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/02/how-i-learned-what-crap-meme-is.html"><i>in this post</i></a>. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Band began as a weblog and has grown into an incorporated business and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">eventually a non-profit organization</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm excited to join The Band and want to promote <a href="http://www.bandbacktogether.com/">Band Back Together</a> today. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here is the mission:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>“[…] a group weblog that provides educational </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>resources, as well as a safe, moderated, supportive</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>environment to share stories of survival. Through </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>the power of real stories written by real people, </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>we can work together to remove the stigma </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>from mental illness, abuse, rape, baby loss, and </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>other traumas, so that we may learn, grow, and </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><i>heal. All are welcome.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Becky's motto for the The Band is this: We are none of us alone.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's a simple statement but it is meaningful to someone in their darkest hour. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you ever need a resource, the band will find it if it's not already on the site. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you have something to write and share, so that others may not feel alone please <a href="http://www.bandbacktogether.com/how-to-contribute"><i>click on this link to learn how to contribute.</i></a> One time I did: <i><a href="http://www.bandbacktogether.com/twenty-two-pounds">Twenty-Two Pounds</a>.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now, I will leave you all to ponder how scary it is that I'm part of a brain.</span><br />
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</span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-40194221956994906702011-10-04T14:43:00.001-05:002011-10-04T14:46:28.571-05:00Let Me Make You Feel Better About Whatever Poor Choice You Made Today.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sometimes I'm pretty sure that some of you enjoy this blog because it makes you feel really good about your own life and how well you handle it. This post is going to bring that kind of happiness.</span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For the 8ish years we lived in <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/01/house-is-trying-to-kill-us.html">The House That Tried To Kill Us</a>, we paid our water bill by letting it roll into our mortgage. We would get the bill and just put it out of our minds. I have no idea if this was a good idea, but it does nothing to ones credit and it allowed us to take care of it over time which worked well for us.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Our water bills prior to moving south were very low. I didn't know they were low at the time, but now that I've lived in the desert for 6 months, let me assure you- they were low! We now have a sprinkler system as Texas receives rain about twice a year, and if we didn't have sprinklers our house would fall into the big crack that would likely form.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When our water bills arrive I get a bit nauseous, so I've been happy to know that they will just roll over into our mortgage. Because let's face it- they have to be paid no matter how much they are, so we may as well spread it over the year. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Fast forward a few months into living here. I was meeting a friend for lunch and decided to shower in the morning rather than waiting until my husband got home when I usually scream, "I NEED TO FREAKING SHOWER BEFORE THE DAY ACTUALLY ENDS!" in a very calm and rational manner. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, I turn the shower the shower head to on..... and....nothing. Well, there was something. It sounded like our pipes were trying to birth something and could not get it out. <i>Then</i>, nothing.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was irate. We moved into this house not even 4 months ago, and our plumbing is busted? Nope, this was NOT happening. I made a list of people who would face my wrath (AKA-I'd have my husband call) and was ready to fight my builder to fix this situation.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Seething, I went to the kids shower. Nothing. No, water, just birthing pipe noises. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I realized we had NO water.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With my hand on my hip in my bossiest fashion I called the water company. Is it a company? The water place? The water factory? Whatevs, I called the water people. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>We have NO water, right now. Is there something going on in our area?</i> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No, Ma'am. We currently have no water issues in the city right now. Have you paid your water bill?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Of course! </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">She then took my information and checked it out.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Um, Ma'am. You've never paid a water bill for that address. Your water was turned off this morning. You should have received warning on your bills. Please look on your front door, there should be a notice about having your water shut off. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>No way! We don't have things like our water turned off! </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>**looked at front door** </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Wait- I do have a sign that says they turned off our water! Why did this happen? We were having the water bill just roll into our mortgage! Do I have to do something special to set that up? If so I would like to do that right now.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Um, no. There's no such thing, Ma'am. I'm not sure who told you that you could do such a thing.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Silence.</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, <i>apparently</i>, here they are going to want me to actually send the check after receiving the bill. You know, like every other bill we receive in the mail. I mean, really! Who would have thought? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know what makes for a torturous day? Waiting the several hours it takes to have your water turned back on after it has been shut off. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">See, don't you feel like you've got it all together now? You're welcome.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-88591282392790467442011-09-30T18:58:00.000-05:002011-09-30T18:58:29.137-05:00It's Friday, Friday! Gotta Get Down On Friday! Sorry.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, now that I have started a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/fondofthesilliness">Facebook Fond of the Silliness page</a>, is it really necessary to have Facebook Friday anymore? I thought about this and decided....yes, yes it is quite necessary.<br />
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1) I'm happy to announce that I feel like I am gaining a handful of friends here in Texas. I use a very strict measuring system to gauge whether or not someone is a friend. I ask myself the following question: <i>If I had a laundry sheet coming out of my pants, do I think this person would tell </i><i>me?</i> If the answer is "Yes", then we are on our way to friendship necklaces!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2). Nora had Manners Day at school this week. All the kids were to get dressed up and use their best manners. The school did things like put nice tablecloths on the cafeteria tables, had classical music playing, etc. Nora explained it well. She said: Today, if we make a gross noise we do not laugh, we just say "<i>please excuse me</i>".</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3.) You know how we all have random things our brains just can't get right? For me I always spell the word entrance 'enterance'. Everything else in life I <i>totally </i>get. (Except for math and why there is braille writing on random walls that no visually impaired person would know to just go and check.) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, for my husband it's his inability to say Canada correctly. If he's talking quickly, he almost always pronounces it 'Canadia'. This brings me joy. He has recently taken a business trip to Canadia and I've enjoyed watching him slowly say the word so that he says it correctly.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">4.) September is Craniofacial awareness month! Hurray! I'm going to celebrate by adding an <a href="http://www.operationsmile.org/">Operation Smile</a> page to my blog this week. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here is my favorite cleftie kiddo.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1st Birthday</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Every time she is pregnant, she will have a 1 in 20 chance of her child having a cleft. So, you see we have a lot of work to do before she has <i>her</i> babies. You know, when she's 35.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">That's enough for today kids.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Don't forget to vote here: </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://blog-awards.parents.com/blog-awards/mom_blogs/1142-fond-of-the-silliness#badge_window">Parents.com Funniest Mom Blogs</a> - you have to register, which is lame-o. But I would appreciate it, which is not lame-o. I shan't win, I just want to increase readership. Then, someday I WILL WIN! </span><br />
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</span></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-22236526671436266192011-09-01T21:47:00.001-05:002011-09-02T08:41:28.456-05:00Someday We'll Remember This Fondly<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was thinking about how excited I am for this Labor Day weekend, because it means we will get to spend three days together as a family. Then I got to thinking how our weekends really go.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let me say this first: my husband and I are nine years into this marriage and I would absolutely pick him and our life above anything else. And <i>obviously</i>, he's totally enamored with me. We are both driven day in and out to do what's best for our two daughters. That being said....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is what happens each weekend:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Friday:</b> Hurray, it's 7pm and we are all home! Excitedly my husband and I make plans to feed the kids and then order Chinese food when they go to bed. You know, a "<i>we are 30 somethings up to our eyeballs with young kids</i>" date. The girls gather around dad and giggle and play while he throws them in the air. The puppy is nearly passing out with delight. I'm glowing because I love my family so much. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Saturday morning:</b> Hurray! We all get to wake and not face our weekday routine! Lucky Charms and <i>Phineas and Ferb</i> for all! Even the dog is smiling and content.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Saturday afternoon:</b> Nora is in time out number <i>three</i> for sassy talk. Evie is sleeping after her giant baby meltdown. OK, so things got pretty harried....my husband and I decide to enjoy this moment of peace together. Look how cute our puppy looks! We truly have it all!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Saturday night:</b> Thank God our children are in bed, I thought I would lose my mind. The dog finally passed out, sweet <i>mother</i> he's a spaz. But cute. I'm so glad we have each other. It's nice to have a quiet night together.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Sunday morning:</b> SHUT UP AND GET DRESSED FOR CHURCH! The damn dog peed on the floor! What does the baby have in her mouth? Oh well, it's nice that we are going to church. I guess.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Sunday afternoon:</b> We are all hiding in various locations. Nora is listening to music in her room, even the baby is playing on her own, I've hidden <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-target-hated-me.html">by going to Target</a> and my husband is trying to watch ESPN while the dog jumps around him. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Sunday night:</b> Eating dinner and things have mellowed out. We enjoy each others company because we know that tomorrow everyone will go back to reality and we can all get some freaking space. Thank God for routines.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Monday morning:</b> <i> Sigh</i>. We all wake up bummed to start another week where we don't see each other nearly enough. Our girls are going to grow up too fast, wish we had more time to just spend together.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Am I wrong? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So here's the secret- <i>it's best to have time to miss and think about each other.</i></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-52659384933719450722011-08-31T13:02:00.000-05:002011-08-31T13:02:42.919-05:00Even U2 Can't Save This Spider Now<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I figured I'd make a post out of what happened this morning, for those of you who are crazy enough to not have 'liked' my new Facebook page yet, and therefore did not get to hear about it yet. Hint. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i>Here is a link to my <a href="http://www.facebook.com/fondofthesilliness">Facebook Fan Page, which you must click here to visit and 'like'</a>. </i> That was a bigger hint for those of you who aren't that bright.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Here is what greeted us this morning:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Why <i>yes</i>, that <i>is</i> a spider the size of your fist. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">A friend asked me how I handled the spider. Well, as I handle most things in life, I did it with a quiet grace. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">While screaming and yelling, I gathered our largest broom. Then I screamed and yelled and opened our front door. While screaming and yelling and<i> crying</i>, I used large sweeps to shoot him down the entry way and out our front door. Finally, while screaming, yelling and crying I bludgeoned him to death on our front porch. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">That is where I left his giant spider-man sized corpse, because I want my husband to accidentally step on him when he comes home tonight and enjoy the sound of the crunch. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I've enjoyed the after affects all day so far. For instance, I sat down next to a fan and it blew one of my curls into my face, which made me scream and punch the side of my own head. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">And I bet that after reading this, you too will feel the creepy crawlies. You're welcome.</span><br />
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-80880106670669500002011-08-28T21:57:00.000-05:002011-08-28T21:57:38.025-05:00No Dad, I Totally Was Not Driving When I Took This Picture. Yes. Yes, I Was.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This weekend's highlights included a trip to the vet. Mosby had some....um, tummy troubles. Let's just leave it at that for those of you who <i>aren't</i> currently mothers and used to constantly talking about the bathroom happenings of all living things in your home.</span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mosby's not had all his vaccinations yet---wait, can I talk about pet vaccinations without people fighting? As a mother I've learned to never talk about vaccinations lest someone fly across Gymboree and beat me with their research. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Anyway, he has not had all of his vaccinations so he's not been socialized with other dogs. Because of this I was unsure how sitting in the waiting room would go, but I had some idea that it would probably make me want to cry. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When we arrived I was relieved to see the waiting area was dog free. I relaxed and sat down. Stupid me. Within seconds of us settling in, everyone who currently owns a dog in North Texas joined us in the waiting room. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There were two teeny tiny chihuahuas being held by teenage girls, who undoubtedly were going to carry them around in purses at the mall for two weeks and then tire of them and drop them off at a shelter, and three large dogs. Including a pit bull.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mosby, who is all of 15lbs right now, started growling at them. Not the chihuahuas, I don't think he could even see them. But the other huge dogs he apparently thought he could take. Mosby didn't do anything but growl and the three big dogs were very well behaved. They looked at Mosby with pure amusement.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I said to the owner of a particularly large dog, "I guess my dog needs to learn who not to mess with." The man replied with a charming tale about why he was there with his dog. Apparently <i>this </i>dog was there to have 50 stitches taken out since <i>another </i>dog the man owned had "tore him right up". </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Those of you who know me in real life can understand how <i>super well</i> I took this little story. I stared at the guy trying to form words, then gave up. I sat there thinking of how I could steal this dog from this ridiculous asshole until he finally left. Somebody needs to tear him right up.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I stewed in my anger, Mosby continued to act like a ferocious beast toward the dogs who could easily eat him, until the door opened and a couple walked out with a dog that <i>scared the crap </i>out of Mosby.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mosby stopped growling, started whimpering and hid under my chair. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Would you like to see the animal that broke Mosby?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6ZjuQdNmGEQ/Tlr2sjeoL2I/AAAAAAAAAlQ/yV_JhnkEKkg/s1600/Basset.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6ZjuQdNmGEQ/Tlr2sjeoL2I/AAAAAAAAAlQ/yV_JhnkEKkg/s1600/Basset.jpg" /></a></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yes, my friends. A basset named Blue terrified our little Mosby.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After this chilling animal came into Mosby's view, he remained scared for the rest of the vet trip. My poor boy was the laughing stock of the waiting room, the vet techs were dying laughing behind the counter. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On the way home he was still solemn and in need of protection. He rode the entire way like this:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tmyZ8iSM2K4/Tlr80sj6R2I/AAAAAAAAAlU/LbSM-Ljx09E/s1600/photo+%25288%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tmyZ8iSM2K4/Tlr80sj6R2I/AAAAAAAAAlU/LbSM-Ljx09E/s320/photo+%25288%2529.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He can't get that Basset Hound out of his mind.<br />
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</tbody></table><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As we pulled into the driveway I was happy the worst was behind us. Right as I was thinking this Mosby started making gagging noises. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When a dog is in your car and laying his head on your shoulder, you don't really want to hear gagging noises. So I lovingly flung Mosby out of the car and into our lawn. You can guess the rest.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just another fun Saturday morning. You know, full of puppy potty problems and vomit.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-77256253486526459192011-08-24T20:32:00.000-05:002011-08-24T20:32:31.272-05:00Let's Chat About How You Find My Blog. You Weirdos.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let's chat about how you are finding me. </span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One of the great joys of having my blog is viewing my stats, which allows me to see the search words you are using to find my blog, and the words searched that simply brought my blog up and then led someone to click on it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Don't panic, I don't get to see who you are, just how you get to me. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have to say, sometimes I am extremely weirded out by the type of things that make my blog pop up. Other times I'm scared. And sometimes I'm just really proud. </span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let me share with you......................*<b><i>drum roll</i></b>*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My Favorite Google Searches That Led You To <i>Fond of the Silliness</i>:</span></b></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I feel this is best divided up into categories. Also, I have changed nothing about spelling or grammar. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ones About Animals:</span></b></div><br />
<ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">bird likes to lick computer screen</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">my cat came home exhausted</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">horse clap clap</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">stepped in animal poop</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">mules wankers</span></i></span></li>
</ol><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones About Pink Eye:</b></span></span><br />
<div><br />
<ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">why is pink eye so funny</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">one catches pink eye</span></i></span></li>
</ol></div><div><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones About Jazz Hands:</b></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small; line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"></span></span></span><br />
<div><br />
<ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">jazz hands emoticon</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">jazz hands, andrews sisters</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">what is a better way to say jazz hands</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">every time i jazz hands you</span></i></span></li>
</ol></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones About Catholicism:</b></span></span></span></div><div><br />
<ol style="color: black;"><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i survived catholic school</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Catholic silliness</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">frank mccourt throwing up the body of christ in the backyard</span></i></span></li>
</ol></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones About Cameltoes:</b></span></span></span></div><div><br />
<ol style="color: black;"><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">innocent cameltoes</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and now fix your camel toe say misis</span></i></span></li>
</ol></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Ones That Scare Me:</b></span></span></span></span></div><div><br />
<ol style="color: black;"><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>shoved a fish hook in her mouth</i></span></span></li>
</ol></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones About Andrew Bogut:</b></span></span></span></div><div><br />
<ol style="color: black;"><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">bogut feeling better 2011</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">andrew bogut growth spurt</span></i></span></li>
</ol></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones That Confuse Me:</b></span></span></span></div><div><div style="color: black;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="color: #333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"></span></i></span></span></div><div><br />
<ol style="color: black;"><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">badass pyloric stenosis</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">would people want cars that drive themselves</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"no sense of direction" and "southern california"</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i forced my washing machine open and now its broken</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">irate baby</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">mama facials</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"swimming in the ocean" clap clap clap</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">terms of endearment where are my daughters pillzs</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ben and jerry falling out</span></i></span></li>
</ol><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Ones About Rap:</b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; white-space: normal;"><ol style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap;"><i>comforting rap songs</i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap;"><i>2011 rap songs that make you feel bette<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">r</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap;"><i>rap silliness</i></span></li>
</span></ol></span></span></div></div></div></div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
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<tr><td align="left" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; width: 860px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle;" width="380px"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Ones Where You Are Seeking Advice or Solidarity<br />
</span></b></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="background-color: initial; background-repeat: no-repeat repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-width: 50px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 50px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td><td align="left" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: top;" width="10px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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<tr><td align="left" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal small/normal arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"><ol><li style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">i am so addicted to angry birds man i love this game</span></i></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">i had a dream my husband flirt</span></i></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">why are wendy's napkins yellow</span></i></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">overtiredness causing siliness</span></i></span></li>
<li style="line-height: 1.5em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">signed a work email love by mistake</span></i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; line-height: 1.5em; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">taking a baby down a </span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i>water slide</i></span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; font-style: normal;">i went down a waterslide can this harm baby</span></i></span></span></li>
</ol><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Ones That Let Me Know You Were Looking For Me:</span></b></span></div><div><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">middle finger emoticon blog</span></i></span></li>
</ol><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;">So there you have it. There are just a few of the very many strange and disturbing </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;">ways readers </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">have happened upon my blog.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;">I think looking at that list we can all agree on one thing: There are many great writers out there</span>. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">None of whom would be found by searches using words like "camel toe". </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">It sure makes a girl proud.</span></div></td></tr>
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</span></span></div></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-29658111915335300032011-08-22T14:31:00.001-05:002011-08-22T14:32:19.012-05:00Run DMC & Snow Cones<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's been a bit since I've blogged. During my time away so many important things have happened. The end of an old regime in Libya, the Kardashian wedding took place, and Nora started Kindergarten. I put those in no particular order of importance.</span><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The kindergarten kick off began last week when I attended both a "Parent Night" and a "Meet the Teacher Shindig" on Friday night. The second was the most exciting because there were snow cones. The addition of the snow cones officially made it the most exciting Friday night I've encountered in awhile.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You always picture moments like this in your life and they just never are quite the way you thought they would be.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I pictured heading to my child's school and feeling very adult and motherly. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What really happened is I drove the 5 minutes to Parent Night while listening to Run DMC's <i>You Be Illin'. </i>Very loudly, I might add.<i> </i>It's just so rare that I'm alone and NOT listening to the vacation bible school CD, <i>Pandamania.</i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Once there I was once again blown away by education today. I mentioned <i><a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/05/i-survived-catholic-school.html">in this post</a> </i>that I was a Catholic school girl. So I'm used to an excellent education being accompanied by leaky ceilings and peter pan collars. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">During my meeting I was told to download the local school district's app to my iPhone so I could check my daughters grades, view calendars, sports schedules and add money to her lunch account. Um...wha? They also mentioned they will not be sending out report cards via mail and to make sure the school has our correct email address so we will receive them.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Someday my daughter will read this and be horrified at me for thinking such technology was anything but a given. Thus, I want to take a moment to assure Nora that I did not stand up and yell "<i>Shazam!"</i> while slapping my knee when they told me about the app. So future Nora, calm down. Also, quit rolling your eyes at me and clean your damn room.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">All of this led to today, when we finally dropped our girl off for her first day of elementary school. A lot of mixed feelings were felt, some of them made more strongly by the fact that we are still new and a bit lonely here. It hasn't escaped me that I should be having coffee with my old friends on this day. The ones who have known Nora from day one.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But mostly I can't believe all we've been through together in her nearly six years. And I can't believe how lucky we are, as her parents, that we get to watch her take this new step, along with all the other new beginnings Nora will have in her life. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Life is full of this very bittersweet kind of stuff. Thank God, because it keeps us grounded. You don't get this kind of reflection from trips, cars or other "things". </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now I'm off to figure out how to make some friends here in this town. Because this is my new beginning too, and my 11 month old and I have a lot of things to do yet before I drop her off, all fixed up in a dress and wearing a back pack three sizes to big for her body, to her first day of school.</span></div><div><br />
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</div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3389896729464035127.post-65322844825340770092011-08-08T19:25:00.002-05:002011-08-08T19:36:47.311-05:00Dead Pets On A Plane<div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I hate watching the dread register in the eyes of fellow passengers on a plane, as you stumble towards them holding your children and 15 bags full of kid crap.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Last week when I was flying towards our beach vacation, I posted <a href="http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/2011/08/seat-7e-on-flight-5790-needs-new-sky.html">about this woman</a>. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Unbelievably enough,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> on the way home I was again blessed with a patient and helpful stranger named Barry. Barry did everything to help me and made the trip manageable in every way. </span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Unfortunately for Barry, Nora was not able to watch her DVD player until the appropriate elevation was reached and electronics could be turned back on. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Until that blessed moment, Nora talked Barry's face right off of her saintly head. </span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It was probably about 15 minutes of time, but to poor Barry it probably felt like 150 minutes. Barry was not the only one horrified; as I listened to Nora tell her about every aspect of our life, I cringed almost constantly. But once Nora gets going, there is not much that can stop her. And I was busy letting the baby pull my hair out of my head with her tiny devil fists.</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not <i>all </i>of it was bad, most was just harmless chatter. But here are some of the little nuggets of fun that I overheard Nora sharing. Or, I guess, over-sharing:</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On my vacation, my papa asked me if I like beer, but I told him that beer is only for adults. He said I could have beer.</span></i><br />
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</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's useful to know here that Nora does not understand the difference between root beer and beer.</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sometimes when my mom is waiting for her pants to dry in the machine, she walks around our house without pants!</span></i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>One time, my sister had an operation to fix her mouth. The doctor told my mom and dad that Evie should never put her fingers in her mouth. But sometimes Evie did put them in her mouth and my parents didn't do anything about it. </i></span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One time my grandpa taught me a song, do you want to hear it? It's about drunken sailors. </span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I had a cat named Gladys, but she's dead now. Do you have any dead pets?</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think the last one really points to the fact that Nora is going to be a master conversationalist some day. </span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Although, I have to say, none of her statements made me <i>quite</i> <i>as uncomfortable</i> as when she announced the color of my underwear to the high school boy bagging our groceries at Pic N Save. He and I <i>both </i>wanted to die over that one. </span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But maybe I shouldn't knock it until I try her conversational techniques. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Maybe she could teach me a thing or two about conversation? </span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, I ask....do you have any dead pets? </span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Please know I'm kidding and don't tell me about your dead pets.</span></i></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13917013165676755612noreply@blogger.com9