Friday, December 16, 2011

Fancy Nancy Can Bite Me

As all things do, it all began so innocently...

I'm going to make Fancy Nancy cupcake toppers for Nora's Fancy Nancy themed birthday party!  This is going to be a cute and economical way to make the small touches to her party awesome!  A friend took the time to create the super cute images for me, I just have to print them out and use the hole punch she gave me.  Easy peasy!  

OK.  Having some problems with the printer.  It's not happy with the card-stock.

Got it to print on the G*d D#!N card-stock, now I'm going to use the hole punch.

Crap, it keeps cutting off the image weird.  How do you get this stupid paper to sit in the hole punch correctly?

Christ on a bike!  I need to make more copies because I ruined all of them trying to use the hole punch.

Text equally craft challenged friend to let her know I'm near tears over cupcake toppers.  She assures me I'm still a good person.

MOTHER TRUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!  THE PRINTER!  

Printed them out again.  Phew.

HOLE PUNCH I HATE YOU.

Dog is now eating the scraps all around me as I sit and stare in wonderment at the hole punch thing-a-ma-doo, thinking about the fact that the friend who nicely created the topper images for me will be at the party tomorrow and see first hand that I'm a dill hole.

Google "how to use the Fiskars hole punch" and be led to a site giving them praise for being so user friendly that arthritic elderly people use them with ease.

Feel a hatred towards Fancy Nancy that I've never experienced towards any other person.  

Text husband that I can't be all things to all people:  He's had to travel for work this week, I've had sick children, a birthday party, Christmas cookie exchange and Christmas party stuff to handle for the last week.  I AM BUCKLING AND THE CAKE TOPPERS WANT TO KILL ME!  

Husband texts me back and asks me to put the hole punch down.

Call Walmart and ask them to add sprinkles to the cupcakes that I ordered since they will have no cupcake toppers.

End the experience by contemplating that whenever I've seen Martha Stewart's daughter being interviewed, she comes off as cold and dour.  

Pat my own back that I'm not like Martha Stewart and instead have lovely, happy daughters.  Feel smug.

Write blog about this experience because that is one thing I can do. 

4 comments:

1 Funky Woman said...

Ok first off kudos for doing something so creative with everything else you have going on in this crazy month!

Hell I would have said to any or all of those things, can someone just drive a truck over me!

And when reviews like that Fiskars whole punch sound so sappy and sweet you know someone just made that crap up because they didn't want anyone to know how you need a mechanical engineering degree to operate stuff like that!

Christ on a Bike love that and so thinking I need to snag that one!

I am so with you on Martha's daughter being a snaggle unhappy soul! Martha, just because you can create a masterpiece out of a fur ball does not make you a "Good" mother!

Your girls are lucky to have you! And Happy Birthday to your little one!

Megan

Megs said...

Dear Lord you need to write a book. I'm still laughing out loud. I may make copies of this and distribute it at times where I feel I am the only mom that can't do crafty things. I think it explains everything in a nutshell about why some of us just aren't cut out for it. Awesome observation about Martha and her daughter at the end too. So true.

Kara said...

You sound just like me! For some unexplainable reason, someone thought it wise to put the printer in the basement, which means that I not only buckle under the pressure, but also give myself a heart attack by running up and down the stairs 15 thousand times!

Mrs. Tuna said...

Yeah, your day will be complete when the dog starts barfing up the paper he ate. Fun times.